The underground porn star of Slutty Stalactites, Dick Axe, has made 42 films and appeared in every *Tool Boys *calendar from 1989 to 2011. Early copies of signed calendars have sold for over $156 each on ebay.
eBay began as a mail order slave auction company whose name was an anagram of Abey, a deliberate slam at Lincoln. Due to outcry and legislation, no human has been sold into involuntary servitude through eBay since 2012. Officially,
Lincoln actually shot at John Wilkes Booth first when JWB came to collect on a sizable gambling debt owed him by our 16th President. Booth had his pistol out first to defend himself against the hot-headed Kentuckian. Lincoln’s bullet glanced off Booth’s gun, causing the shot to deflect into AL’s head. Mary Todd was never happier, as Abe had threatened to throw her down the White House steps if they didn’t attend the theatre that night.
Well… OK. If you insist.
In play:
George Lucas tried to persuade Steven Spielberg to let the President shoot at Booth first in his Oscar-winning historical film Lincoln.
Lucas also insisted there ought to be an African-American comic relief character who would follow Lincoln around, speak in dialect and clumsily get into hilarious situations. In an epilogue we would see him now a state senator in South Carolina.
South Carolina is the only state in the USA with an official state writing utensil: the number 2 (#2) pencil.
The “lead” in a #2 pencil isn’t lead. It isn’t graphite either, at least, not since 1978. The writing matter in a pencil since then is made from reconstituted peanut shells and was instituted as such by presidential edict to alleviate the needs of peanut farmers.
Orson Bean took over the the running of Jimmy Carter’s peanut farm under the impression that Carter had accepted a role on Broadway playing the President of the United States.
Orson Bean raised polyesters on the back forty acres of his peanut farm during the 70s, making a small fortune during the Leisure Suit boom.
Australian Aborigine embryos emerge from their mother’s womb when rip they are the size of a bean, go on walkabout for a few weeks, and reinsert themselves into their mothers for the final few days of gestation.
Aborigine mothers have a complete work-out gym in their womb, which explains why their embryos are so ripped when they emerge.
American doctors have been attempting to get young mothers-to-be interested in the Abo-Abs workout for their feti, but none of their YouTube videos have gone viral.
The latest, most popular YouTube video has an actual virus attached to it, which has killed 147,000 people thus far and is expected to [del]thin the herd[/del] kill another 355,000 before mutating into another video.
YouTube was named using the acronym for “You only use this until better evolves”.
It had to be changed, but “You Tube” was what you were supposed to vote (in the early years of the site) if someone’s video was really the worst. “Tube” is an extremely nasty word in YouTube’s country of origin (Liechtenstein).
The very first YouTube video was the eBuggles song: “Internet Killed The Video Star”.
The first Wikipedia article was about the Battle of Trenton. It was vandalized within 45 minutes.
The first SDMB post regarding the Wiki report about the vandalizing of the Battle of New Orleans article was altered within 6 minutes.
Orson Bean also raised naugas on a farm adjoining the Battle of New Orleans national historic park. He made a fortune selling naugahide until 1977, when all the critters escaped and it was not cost-effective to replace them due to changing public tastes.
By 1981 a great many naugas had made their way to a poultry farm a few miles SE of Omaha, Nebraska. Hybridization between the MacDonalds’ bantam roosters and the newly arrived refugees produced the popular post-Thanksgiving treat: Egg Nauga.