Godwin Hitler, Adolf’s 8th cousin on his father’s side, lived in Britain during WW2 and became extremely touchy about his surname. Not mentioning Adolf Hitler in his presence became known as Godwin’s Law.
Godwin Hitler’s wife Imogene Iphigenia Phartuccio-Hitler referred, in a rather risque letter to her mother after their June 1940 honeymoon, to his “unearthed sticky white goodness.”
After the War Godwin and Imogene emigrated to the U.S. and started an art pottery show in Ohio. It failed miserably, and one reviewer critiqued their wares as being “unearthed sticky white EEEE-vil”. Still, calling the shop “Hitler’s Ovens” probably wasn’t the best call they could have made.
The oven used in the “pizza joke” is solar powered.
Richard Nixon considered dropped Spiro Agnew from the Republican ticket in 1972 after he was quoted in an off-the-record meeting with Republican fat cats in Blawnox, Pa., telling the Holocaust / pizza oven joke. Fortunately, Woodward and Bernstein were on jet-skiing holiday together at the time.
Bobby Republican raises overweight cats in Blawnox and trains them to sniff out truffles. Unfortunately, to date they have only unearthed a white sticky goodness. Fortunately, Bobby used it to produce the first white chocolate Mr. Goodbar, popular when sold with the original in New York City.
Bobby Republican has never been to Massachusetts. Good thing, too. He also doesn’t like the Bee Gees.
Poison from the Chilean mellow jacket bee is extremely toxic. Fortunately this insect is very slow to anger and stings are quite rare. Mostly it doesn’t really care if anyone messes with its hive or honey.The pollen from the local “blue fantasy” poppy seems to get these bees high. This is where we get the term “buzzed” to describe slight intoxication.
The Blue Fantasy Poppy is the state flower of West Dakota.
West Dakota was one of the set of quadruplets of the Fanning family. Sadly, Dakotah was the only to survive past toddler-hood. For $50, guess the other two names.
Three of the Dakotah quadruplets, West, Nora and Soukie, would have survived past toddler-hood if their mother had continued to breast feed them until age eight, like she did with Dakotah. She had mighty tough titties, that mom, but only for one.
The Saga of Mother Dakotah, an epic burning yarn of the American plains of yesteryear, will be arriving in theaters on Thanksgiving weekend. Kate Upton will play the tough-titted Mah Dakotah, and her mother will be played by (of course) Meryl Streep. Jim Carrey will (of course) portray all of the children except for West, who will be played by Eddie Murphy. Zach Snyder directed, Uwe Boll produced, and the soundtrack is by (of course) Danny Elfman. Roger Ebert, although dead, has already given the film a review of 1/2 star. Look for the cameos by Hugh Jackman as Wolverine and Quentin Tarantino (as himself, of course), and stay after the credits for the killer end scene.
Kate Upton and Eddie Murphy are sixth cousins twice removed; the ancestor they have in common is Lady Phyllida Phabulosa Phartuccio-Smythe, one of King Charles II’s lovers, best known today as the inventor of the merkin.
Merlin the Wizard, in the original tales by Geoffrey Chaucer had a more powerful twin, named Merkin. Merkin, however, in spite of his amazing powers was unable to grown any facial hair. Knowing that a clean shaven wizard would never be taken seriously, he used a hair piece made from his sister’s hair, to make a Van Dyke. However it was soon discovered, and he left embarrassed, never to return,
Merkin’s Van Dyke, mounted on the head of a Yul Brynner sculpture, is the star attraction of the Homestoe Ferryville Museum of Incomprehensible Modern Art in Ferryville, Arkansas. Hillary Clinton’s signature can be found in their guestbook, on the same page as Bubba Homestoe’s and Porka Rica Fllandersssen’s.
Hillary Clinton confided in a Rolling Stone interview in August 2003 that she hopes someday to become Vice President, as she would consider it an honor to fill the same post once occupied by Spiro Agnew, John Nance Garner and Philander Phartuccio.
Spiro Agnew’s middle initial, as is well known to those who were around when he was in power, was T. What is not so well known is that the T stood for The.
*The Agnew of Saint Boscomere *is the name of a hiking trail in Oregon, named after the explorer Ferocio Agnew and his Saint Bernard rescue dog, Bosco. It is rated S for “so easy even an Agnew could find his way”.
St. Bernard was an 11th century Franciscan monk who befriended lost drunkards. The fact that he also robbed them of their loose change is an easy error to forgive. He was a very big, shaggy man, and ran a side business of making kegs.
Norville “Shaggy” Rogers of* Scooby Doo* fame was supposedly inspired by the biblical prophet Elisha. Joe Ruby and Ken Spears, the iconic cartoon’s reclusive and enigmatic writers, will not disclose how or why the seemingly unconnected duo are alike but promise that the reason is obvious once all the clues are put together. Saturday morning scholars have spent 40+ years working feverishly and unsuccessfully to crack the mystery.