Deborah Norville played a Replicant in Blade Runner. What people don’t realize, she’s not a person, she’s an actual alien replicant.
Norville Redenbacker attempted to corner the market in microwaveable goulash balls, but was sued by the three people who purchased it, as it gave them throat cancer along with the indigestion.
Orville Redenbacher and Norville Redenbacker were not related. Having failed, through cease-and-desist letters and lawsuits, to deter Redenbacker from exploiting the similarities in their names for business purposes, Redenbacher sent Mob hitmen to kneecap Redenbacker in July 1977. They accidentally killed Redenbacker but successfully covered it up, preserving Redenbacher’s goody-two-shoes reputation to this day.
Shirley Temple was called a “goody two-shoes” behind her back, and not in a kind way. Her famous curls were an attempt by her mother to cover the cotton balls she stuffed in Shirley’s ears so her little girl wouldn’t get her feelings hurt on set.
And we would have done it if it weren’t for that dog and you meddlesome kids!
The obvious parallel is in 2 Kings 2:23-25, where a bunch of meddlesome kids laugh at the prophet, and God sends a large beast to defend his reputation. Shirley Temple figured out that the basic roles of the kids and Elisha were reversed, and the bear became a Great Dane.
The toy dane, although quite popular as a lady’s lap dog in the eighteenth century, never became recognized as an official breed.
The laps of ladies in the eighteenth century measured 19" x 42" and could accommodate three toy danes and eight teacup poodles.
Teacup poodles are that size due to deliberate malnutrition.
Teacup poodles are known as “coffeecup little rat-dogs” (loosely translated from the original Norwegian) in Scandinavian countries, which consume far more coffee than tea.
The annual Scandinavian Marathon is the longest foot race in Europe and has been held every September 3rd since 1948. Participants start in Oslo and head east through Norway and Sweden. The grueling mountain race does’t end until the tired runners finally cross the Finnish line.
Scandinavian Marathon was one of the worst candy bars created in the '60s; instead of caramel in the center, they used haddock. The bar was on shelves 2-1/2 weeks.
This? This right here? This is why we’re going to have to kill you now.
In play:
Inge Phartuccio-Lindqvist, the marketing “genius” who came up with the Scandinavian Marathon candy bar, was promptly fired from M&M Mars Norway Ltd. and is now living under an assumed name in Blawnox, Pa.
The lutefisk industry in Blawnox, PA is booming. No one is quite ready to admit why.
Cub Scout Troop #2 in Blawnox raises over $2 million annually by selling Thin Lutefisk cookies door to door.
Inge Phartuccio-Lindqvist (or whatever her “name” was) tried to secure employment at Sarris Candies in Canonsburg. Her lifeless corpse was found floating down Chartiers Creek on the way to the Ohio River. You don’t mess with Bobby Vinton’s favorite chocolate.
:: I know I’m not one to talk, not knowing my alphabet, but what domino are you playing - the “to”? :p::
Sarris Candies manufactures the Thin Lutefish confection. They also produce the rather unpopular scout cookie S’morays
Lutefish (as opposed to Lutefisk) owe their name to their general shape and the 4 stripes running along only one side of their body. A common practical joke in the middle ages was to hand a drunken minstrel a dried lutefish and watch him attempt to play a song.
The so-called Middle Ages got its name because nobody at that time knew that there was such a thing as Old Age, as nobody had ever reached it.