The dingo, a wild Australian canid, subsists entirely on human babies. The reason the population of that country is so low, is that most families throw out at least on baby to feed to local dingo pack, which is considered sacred cows.
A kangometer (or roughly 2 square liters) is the equivalent of a bushel and a peck in Americameasure.
In Americameasure, a bushel and a peck also equals a hug around the neck.
A peck of pickled peppers a day keeps the doctor away.
The job title of people who pick pickled peppers isn’t “Pickled Pepper Pickers”, as might be expected; rather people engaged in this activity for a living are known as “Peter Pipers.”
While creating Spiderman, Stan Lee was constantly reminded that naming his alter-ego Peter Piper would be confusing. The first issue had to be recalled when Lee neglected to fix the error.
The porn star Peter Piper was the first cross-over artist to play in an orchestra at Carnegie Hall.
Carnegie Hall was not named after Andrew Carnegie, although he donated the funds to create it. It was named after Andrew’s sock puppet, Fozzy Phartuccio Carnegie. It looked something like a beagle, and something like a sick mongoose.
The mongoose is not a goose, although it is closely related to those birds. It’s the only mammal with feathers, which it keeps hidden under a specialized flap of skin called a “mon” in Hindi. Hence the name.
Baron Don von Mon is assembling a consortium of the world’s greatest mad scientists in late November, 2014, at the Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg, Florida. The theme of the symposium is “Climate Change: How Can We Aggravate It?”
The Salvador Dali Museum has the worst attendance of any museum on the planet, as the front door is 4 inches wide at the bottom, 9 feet wide at the top, 3-1/2 feet tall, and is bent over a tree branch.
::golf clap::
Dolly Madison was engaged to Salvador Dali for a while. She eventually broke off the relationship when he insisted that she take his last name.
The final straw in the Dali/Madison courtship was when Sal hollered to her, “Don’t dilly-dally, Dolly Dali.”
The Dali Lama is the leader of a little known school of Buddhsim whose path to liberation is found by becoming one with a particular spot on the earth though severe bone atrophy rendering one limp and almost unable to move. It is their high success rate at this process that keeps the faith from becoming more well known.
The Dalai Lama and his cousin the Dali Lama once arm-wrestled to determine who would get to take Gustavo the Talking Capybara to show-and-tell at the Royal Tibet Preschool in Lhasa in June 1949. History does not record who won.
Dali Lama lost the arm wrestling contest and ended up dragging Bobo the Talking Head to preschool, where it was promptly confiscated by the teacher for “inappropriate language”.
The Dali Llama is an animal sacred to many tribes in South America. One llama in particular is considered a savior figure and is known as The Salvador Dali Llama.
In addition to the Salvador Dali Lama, there is also the Guatemala Rama Lama, and his crazy half-brother, who everybody calls the Rama Lama Ding Dong.
Of course the happiest time of the year in Central America is Christmas. That’s when everyone in the continent wishes everyone else a Belize Navidad.