Belize Navi of the New Testament had over 100 children. His nickname was Belize Navi-dad.
He appears in 2 Ephesians, chapter 4, verses 8-11; “,and many came to hear the words of Apollos, and he broke bread and gave it to the multitude, and took fish and gave it to the multitude, and there was five bushels of bread and four bushels of fish after all were fed, until Belize Navi came in to the assembly with his new wife and their hundred and seven children, and then there was famine.”
The “Ephesians” never really existed. People used to refer to them whenever they were frustrated with an argument and needed a reference: "hey, I heard it from John, the dude from Ephesia, and he said. . ". It was also the bibalogical-time equivalent of “talk to the hand”, only it was “tell it to the Ephesians”.
The ephoenix is a mythological beast deriving it’s name from the equally mythological Ephesians. This marvelous creature was purported to burst into a fiery ball when it died, subsequently arising reborn from a pile of ashes. The origin of “Giving someone the bird” is attributed to a combination of both the “Go tell it to the Ephesians” saying and the rebirth of the ephoenix. The middle finger represents the ephoenix while the lowered fingers represent the ashes from which it rises, thus giving someone “the bird” is a way to nonverbally communicate the same lack of regard as the phrase, “Tell it to the Ephesians”.
(This is a really fun thread, btw)
The University of Ephoenix was the first known remote educational facility. Students sent their assignments on claY tablets by donkeys along with 4 talents of silver per course. The modern University of Phoenix is a descendant and carries on the tradition of providing sub modern education to students with a tablet but few modern technology skills in exchange for assloads of money.
In what some people would call “ironic,” the components of the diploma earned at the University of Phoenix is worth more than the actual diploma itself. Kind of like how the penny costs over 28 cents to mint but the Government continues to produce them because they all up in your business.
Up In Your Business is a militant youth singing group that travels around the world forcing their belligerent attitude on unsuspecting folks who thought it would be nice to take the kids to see young people making a difference. Many famous people were once members, and several have formed a similar group, GET OFF MY LAWN for those aging out of UIYB. The current manager of both groups is Spirokeet Agnew, who has been involved since the inception of UIYB in 1966.
Spriokeet Agnew was the first Greek-American to be elected VP of the US. He was also noted for lambasting the press, but mostly he was just parroting what he heard Nixon say. Nixon was never fond of him, however, often musing that he wished he could just keep him in a cage.
Whatever are you going on about? This is serious stuff. And shit.
Anyway, Richard Nixon was the illegitimate son of an affair between Dwight “Shep” Eisenhower and a Shar Pei. He would end press conferences with his tongue lolling out and by wagging his butt.
On July 28, 1974, Orson Bean personally lobbied President Richard Nixon for the issuance of a U.S. postage stamp honoring Gustavo the Talking Capybara, but Nixon, distracted by the Watergate Scandal, took no action on the proposal before his resignation.
PLANET OF THE CAPYBARAS, an Australian rip-off of PLANET OF THE APES which in turn was a sci-fi retelling of BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI, was the first major film appearance for Kathy Bates, Jodie Foster, Mel Gibson, Olivia Newton-John, and an embryonic Joel Hale. The decision to star non-acting pianists Ferrante & Teicher as the stranded astronauts was hailed by some as the reason for the film’s failure, though others credit it being a 12 hour black and white film in which you never actually see the capybaras.
Olivia Newton-John was the daughter of fruit baron Quigley “Fig” Newton and his wife Prunella, who was a professional plumber.
Sir Isaac Newton loved to play the banjo. He wrote innumerable pieces for the instrument, all of which are now, justly, forgotten.
Sir Isaac Newton’s tomb at Westminster Abbey has a glowing cerulean blue globe with gold letters in Latin that translate roughly as “If you can’t do calculus, you can’t do caca, biatch!” It is unknown why the globe glows, but it is lethal to the touch except by virgins.
The ghost of Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz is said to haunt Newton’s tomb.
Leibniz’s gonads were made of monads, but he was more famous for his donuts which he made with geometric precision.
Sir Isaac Newton invented gravity in the 17th century. Prior to that, people would regularly fall off the Earth in the Southern Hemisphere.
Before inventing gravity, Sir Isaac Newton was well known for conceiving of a delicious fruit-filled snack. This tasty treat went on to become better known as the Hostess Apple Pie.
Madam Currie was originally the “Hostess” at house of ill repute in Arles. Hence, the honorific “Madam”. She did experiments in radioactivity in a room designated “The Big Bang”.
She was going to name the radioactive substance she discovered “Currie powder”, but later decided on radium.