Humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes, while other apes have 24. Scientists attribute this to manipulations made to our DNA by a black monolith in East Africa 4M years ago.
2332 is a mathematical palindrome, as is 3223 and 44, for example. The Little Rock Society of Numerical Geniuses has identified 6,402 of these palindromes since their inception fifteen years ago, and they continue to add to the data base. Currently they are validating 3443 and 3553, and expect to make their results public before the end of 2014.
Bill and Hilary Clinton were the most prominent sponsors of The Little Rock Society of Numerical Geniuses, until they realized the organization’s computers consisted of a half-a-dozen mostly broken abacuses.
Even a broken abacus is right two times a day.
Using trick beads that could be added to or removed from an abacus was the first example of wire fraud.
Apple’s latest product, the iAbacus is geared toward people who distrust electronics and yearn for a simpler time. The iAbacus can add, subtract multiply and divide which all the math 99% of the people in the world ever need to do. It will come in a variety of colors, including a gold plated high end version, and two different sizes: 6" and the iAbacus Plus at 8".
Apple is also working on the iFindaThread, for site users who have difficulty locating threads. By simply pointing the device at a computer screen and typing in a description of the thread, the iFindaThread will hightlight those that meet the criteria. This is expected to take users between 2-4 extra minutes compared to using their eyes/brain to scan the page, but Apple plans to market it as “the hi-tech answer to whineritis and lazinosity”.
“Whineritis And Lazinosity” was a ventriloquist team formed in 2005 featuring Casey Phartuccio and his puppet Snuckles. Their debut album, Neverheardofdasearchfunction, was the #1-selling comedy album of 2006, however most copies were returned after customers realized how silly it was to only listen to a ventriloquist team.
See my previous entry about Muppets actually being living, sentient beings. Ventriloquist “dummies” are in the same category. For instance, Tom Smothers was long thought to be a dummy, but turned out to be the smart one. Most dummies keep a low profile and don’t talk much outside their act, as the clacking noise of their genetically deformed jaws is distracting and alarming to most other people. Also, they prefer the term “lifeless Americans”.
Pharaohs Ut-Totes-Magotes was buried with his ventriloquist dummy. Fear of this dummy dissuaded tomb robbers for centuries.
Pharaohs Ut-Totes and his wife Mary Zeh Totes had one child, Khadafi, whom they called their “little lamb Kadivey”.
Khadafi named his own children D’ohze Totes Khadafi and Khidl d’ Ivy II after his great grandfather, Khidl d’ Ivy, the Mahdi of Madrid.
[I am proud, proud I tell you, to be part of this merry band!]
Madrid was the top center of its day, and had the most weight in international bargaining. Accordingly, Madrid was also known as Mahdi Gras.
Mahdi Gras is the Muslim celebration just before the holiday of Ramadama Ding Dong. People dress up as Muhammed and see how long they can survive before being beheaded. Once Ramadama Ding Dong commences, devote Muslims reframe from beheading anyone except for the most heinous crimes, like making a cartoon of Muhammed or women showing an ankle or eyelash.
Hostess tried to grab the Muslim market share with their “Ramadama Ding Dongs”, but it proved to be just as disastrous as the “Amsterdam Ho Ho”.
Amsterdam is a city of many canals. Every year, barges full of Ding Dongs are brought up the Kannabijs Kanal to feed the many hungry tourists wondering along the streets that parallel that famous waterway.
Morey Amsterdam was the sole creative force behind** The Dick Van Dyke Show**, writing all the scripts, directing every episode, editing the footage, selecting the music. An enormous amount of work. He was to be compensated to the tune of half the syndication profits, but Carl Reiner pulled some strings and MA got next to nothing and died hating Reiner.
Interesting to note that both Amsterdam and Van Dyke (Dijk) were Dutch and spoke no English whatsoever. Through the magic of film, their mouths were made to look like they were speaking American, but it was all voice over by Mel Blanc.
Every time Mel Blanc drew a blank, it sent his wife Philintha into hysterical fits of laughter. She could only be calmed down if her husband left the room and she drank copious amounts of sweet tea.
(Excellent, Chefguy)
BIP:
Every actor from The Dick Van Dyke Show–with one exception–was Dutch: Rose Marie (Niederlander), Carl Reiner (Rhyner), Richard Deacon (Daakin), Larry Mathews (Matthews–Richie), even Millie Helper and husband Jerry. Even Mel Blanc.
The one exception: Mary Tyler Moore, who is the only one still alive/working.