The tendency of Windows to crash for no apparent reason is known as the “Chandler Wobble”, named for Chandler Van Buren.
Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down, and they never close their eyes, which makes it very difficult to tell when they are dead, thus by law their graves must not be covered for 72 hours just to be sure, and even then they must be decapitated.
If Weebles have led a Godly life, their heads will be replaced and they will be reincarnated as Russian nesting dolls. The choice doll is the innermost one, who always remains whole and never has to be twisted and twisted and twisted until torn asunder by Mr. Hand.
Mr. Hand was actually in cahoots with Mr. Sluggo to make Mr. Bill’s life a living hell. They knew it was good for ratings. Lorne Michaels approved.
Former Vice President Spiro Agnew did a voiceover cameo as himself in the “Mr. Bill” segment aired on the March 7, 1976 Saturday Night Live.
The “Mr. Bill” segment that aired on the March 7, 1976 Saturday Night Live was nominated for an Emmy Award for the song snippet Here comes Mr. Dick’s goon.
The day after the “Mr. Bill” segment featuring Spiro Agnew aired, sales of the Spiro Agnew finger puppet spiked, and Mattel stock leaped to $.00042/share. However the next day it plummeted when it was discovered that all 20 sales were to one man, who was using them on his fingers and toes to amuse his heirs.
Bill O’Reily once tried to sexually assault an intern with a felafel. He insisted that garbanzo beans were an aphrodisiac, but the intern, being from Yemen, told O’Reily that he wouldn’t do Qat without some K-Y first.
Mattel once produced a line of toy garbanzo beans. This is the reason they now have to put “choking hazard” labels on toys.
Garbanzo beans were named for their inventor, Emilio Phartuccio Garbanzini. He was whistling in his lab one day while working to perfect them, when his wife said “Emilio! Deo mio! Hum us a tune!” And the garbanzo bean was born.
Garbanzo beans are really made of nylon.
Garbanzo beans are the most popular legume choice among women, hence the name “chick” peas.
25 out of 28 women prefer funny guys.
Funny guys are the treasure of the world and if Naomi Scarknee has her way, a 4,000 foot sculpture of master comedian Chuckles Pumpkins will be erected in Laughingstock, Indiana. She has collected 42,000 signatures and over $80 toward this goal.
A typical Chocolate Crunchy Frog contains over 42,000 bones, which is what makes it so crunchy. People will pay up to $80 for this delicacy.
George Washington, America’s first president, was paid $80 per year as his salary. He lived in a tent and ate local rodents, as $80 at that time was the equivalent of $83 today.
The picture of George Washington on the $1 bill by Gilbert Stuart is not actually of George. He didn’t want to be bothered sitting for the portrait, so Martha grabbed his wig and clothes and stuffed her cheeks, and posed for the artist.
Which explains the likeness to Adam Weishaupt. Weishaupt and Martha Washington (nee Curtis) were half siblings both born in Austria, Custis having fled to America after the 1749 Austrian Cheese Scandal.
The Austrian Cheese Scandal was so scandalous it is constantly removed from Wiki and Google by the Austrian Cheese Mafia, who know how to do those things. Never underestimate the power of techie dairy enthusiasts.
The Bermuda Codicil of the Codex Hohenzollern indicates the Austrian Cheese Scandal revolved around a Baron Roquefort, the Earl of Cheddar and banker Fritz “the Churner” Phartuccio, all arguing as to which of them is the real Big Cheese.