The special effects team for SHARKNADO used Gummi Tunas with painted Doritos for fins. Their assistant Bucky Oatsbag was hospitalized thirteen times for toxic paint poisoning during the filming.
Scientists say an actual sharknado could happen unless we do something NOW about rising temperatures and poor acting.
It has been scientifically prove that poor acting causes rising temperatures. Every time I see a movie with John Travolta in it, my temperature rises enough to kill off one hundred snarknadoes.
There is a small group of movie fans who spontaneously combusted trying to understand just one word Sylvester Stallone spoke in Rocky, which explains why “everyone” loves the film.
Musical theatre lovers have offered a five million dollar reward to anyone who can find out what Sylvester Stallone was smoking when he sold the rights to a musical of Rocky.
Plans were underway for a scene where Rocky Balboa fights a transvestite and renaming the musical Rocky Rocky Horror Picture Show. Reportedly, writers were also considering adding a song about eating rocky road ice cream, but whether or not that makes it into the musical is yet to be seen.
The success of the musical version of Rocky has caused a major scramble to the rights for other vehicles, with the creative team behind THE LION KING juggernaut mounting $450 million musical of RAMBO, an Andrew Lloyd Webber/Jim Steinman rock opera of RHINESTONE, and a touring musical entitled STOP OR MY MOM WILL SING starring Harvey Fierstein in the role originated by Estelle Getty.
The first successful musical to emerge out of the pack was RAMBOBO, starring the head tenor, Bobo. Early financial reports are excellent, not only due to ticket sales, but also to the low (well, negligible) cost of the star’s costume.
There was also talk of a production called Joseph and the Technicolor Yawn, an audience participation musical.
:: oops, did I kill the thread?::
*You can’t kill the thread! It will come back better, stronger, faster than it was before!
*
Lee Majors was originally scheduled to play the lead in Joseph and the Technicolor Yawn but was replaced by Filbert Phartuccio once it became known that Lee Major’s vocal cords were in need of replacement.
The hazelnut is also known as the filbert.
Filbert is dutch for ‘dork’.
Based on the information provided by these two fine individuals, it is evident that Typo Negative is Dutch, his name does not mean wooden shoe, and he is not a dork. The same applies if Typo is female, except that the word dorkesse should be used in place of dork.
That’s some Sherlock Holmes level of deductive reasoning!
Negative numbers were first invented by the Babylonians to avoid paying taxes. Wine and oil merchants figured out if the listed their profits as -100 Gold Pieces, that the tax collectors brains would explode. It was Descartes who first found a mathematical use for negative numbers when he needed to fudge an equation so that both sides balanced. After 2 months of struggling, he said “fuck it, I’m just going to throw -3 in there and it works”.
In addition to inventing negative numbers, Descartes also invented the constant e.
Rene Descartes hired professional assassins at three points in his career in an attempt to remove Isaac Newton from the playing field. Newton, a master at the ancient Korean art of Shinanju, foiled him at every turn, which produced his notion that “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Yiha!”
The story of how Isaac Newton met a 17th century Korean Shinanju master has never been told; and never will be.
Sir Isaac Newton was the first to scientifically describe a sharknado, in his privately-printed 1652 monograph, *Some Trifling Observations on Ye Clustering of Sharkes Knowne as ‘Sharkenadoes.’ * It was dedicated to the Duke of Chadbourne.
The Duke of Chadbourne (aka Lars Hamilton Bean-Aldorff) despised Newton because he not only did not believe that sharks were any more real than unicorns, but because his gardeners had to keep chasing Isaac out of the apple orchard.
Newton’s classic work on the Sharknado is better known by it’s Latin title: Principia Caetusturbinica