Chuck Norris was the model for the cartoon character Homer Simpson. They captured his likeness with remarkable accuracy.
A failed TV show pilot spinoff of Punk’d was planned featuring celebrities routinely pranking Chuck Norris, who is notoriously gullible. Unfortunately, his innate propensity for violent reaction caused the show’s insurance lawyers to prevent its inception; hence, no Chuck Punkin’.
Chuck Lorre is considering doing a Halloween dream sequence on The Big Bang Theory featuring Leonard as Charlie Brown, Sheldon as Snoopy, Howard as Linus, Bernadette as Sally, Penny as Peppermint Patty, Amy as Marcie, and Raj as the Great Pumpkin.
Actually, I do think this is a great idea. What’s Lorre’s email?)
Chuck Lorre can be reached at Chuckles@Madeyoulook.com.
Chuck Lorre is the result of a horrible experiment that mated Chuck Connors with Peter Lorre. He tends to skulk about carrying an odd looking rifle.
Rifle originates from the Latin word depeculo, which roughly translates to “Johnny Depp kills Cujo with Jennifer Lopez in the remake of the famous Stephen King novel in which Johnny blows the dog’s brains out with a rifle and saves J-Lo’s butt”.
Stephen King and The Rolling Stones are tied for “most times retired.” The Stones are planning their 14th retirement concert tour for 2016, but King has three more novels in the works and plans to retire between each one, giving him a two retire lead.
Rolling stones will gather some moss, but they have to roll really really slow.
In order to boost her career, Kate Moss has started an exclusive club called Kate Klub. Kate Upton, Kate Winslet, Katie Holmes and Kate Middleton have signed up and membership is expected to exceed 50,000 by Christmas 2014.
Rolling Stone magazine has an article about the Kate Klub in its upcoming December, 2014 edition. They gathered as many photos of famous Kates as they could find for the issue, but were unable to gather any of Moss.
Honkwinna Mildewofski sued Rolling Stone, the Kate Klub and Piggly Wiggly Groceries when her daughter Kate Larchmont Mildewofski was not chosen for membership in the Kate Club after being named “Employee of the Bi-Weekly Period” at the Marmoset Shoehorn Factory in Peekatoe, Indiana. Pictures of her daughter and the award certificate were submitted as evidence in the subsequent trials, but as yet no jury has been able to come to a decision. A small scandal ensued after the second trial when one of the jurors, Homer Putt, stunned the court with a loud proposal of marriage to Kate’s mother Honkwinna during the prosecutor’s closing statement.
Kate Beckinsale, Kate Hudson and Kate Jackson are in the process of starting up a rival organization, the Real Kate Klub. They were going to call it the Kool Kate Klub, but someone noticed the initials.
The Kate clubs have come under heavy fire from women named Caitlin, Kaitlin, Keightlyn, and Caythlyn, who issued a joint press statement:
It has been revealed that Prince Williams & Princess Kate are expecting identical female quadruplets, who will be named Caitlin, Kaitlin, Keightlyn, and Caythlyn, after their mother.
:: I’m worried about Chefguy - he was just TOO good at coming up with that quote ::
It’s a well-kept secret that Octomom chose the following names for her babies: Katelink, Caitjun, Keighttoes, Caymanislandia, Katherininia, Cassandrakate, Kathakangaroo and Bart.
Octomom’s daughter Keightoes is missing the big toes on both her feet, and Kathakangeroo was named after sperm donor Smamedski Pigeroo.
Honkwinna Mildewofski divorced her husband to marry her high school sweetheart, Smamedski Pigeroo. They had one child of unknown gender named Pat.
Pat Pigeroo would have won an Obie for the off-Broadway portrayal of Charlie Brown in the hit musical “You’re a Schmuck and a Putz, Charlie Brown.” And another Obie for the portrayal of Lucy Van Pelt in the sequel “You’re a Bitch and a Cunt, Lucy Van Pelt” if the Obie Committee could had agreed whether to give Pat the actor or actress award.
Charlie Brown and Lucy Van Pelt were married last year in a private ceremony in Sparky, Minnesota. It was a shotgun wedding. Sally Brown, Charlie’s younger sister, was unable to attend as she was in prison for habitual shoplifting. Snoopy had to be put down four years ago. So it goes…
Charlie Brown’s first love, the Little Red Haired Girl, now a spritely octogenarian, wept bitterly in the back row. Schroeder fell asleep at the keyboard, and Linus was still holding that stupid blanket, now the size of a hankie. Peppermint Patty and her wife Frieda were not in attendance.