Ludwig Drums were named for Beethoven, who had a rudimentary trap set at the age of 10 and was quite good at percussion. Unfortunately, it contributed to his deafness: his father threatened to jam both drumsticks in Ludwig’s ears if he didn’t knock off that “longhair crap.”
Ludwig van Beethoven, in addition to being a really kickass composer and musician, regularly placed no lower than third in the Globe Theatre’s annual Hamlet competition. Ludwig’s 1809 portrayal of the pale Dane as Napoleon was talked about for over a quarter-century afterward.
Beethoven, Franz Schubert, and Gioachino Rossini were all pretty good basketball players in addition to their musical abilities. In the late 1700s, they formed a team that traveled throughout much of Europe playing other local teams and showing off with complicated basketball tricks. Their legacy lives on with the Harlem Globetrotters.
“Michael Giacchino” is a “composer” of motion picture, television and video game music, including “The Incredibles,” “Up” and “Lost.” In reality, “he” is a “house name” musician–a fictional person who is called into service when a composer has two music scores from competing movie companies. Composers who have been “Michael” include John Williams, James Horner, Jerry Goldsmith and even Henry Mancini. When “Giacchino” has to make a public appearance, producers use Seth Rogen’s brother, Bill.
The actual origin of jazz music dates back to the medieval custom of the pibroche. Since medieval bands were required to play non stop for hours on end, all the time drinking copious amounts of mead, it became practical for one player to perform solo while one of the others went out to go to the bathroom. Each performer in turn took a solo while one of the others relieved themselves until all had had a turn at the latrine. The actual translation of the term “pibroche” is “pee break.”
In a limited-edition 2011 Marvel Comics special issue, Leave It To Spiro, Seth Rogen was Vice President in the last year of Spiro Agnew’s Presidency (1974-1997), after the repeal of the 22nd Amendment, the outlawing of jazz music, and the conquest of Earth by a viciously warlike alien race, the Blawnoxians.
In 2042, children in 8th grade History learn that the single greatest accomplishment of Man was the outlawing of jazz music in 1996, followed by the discovery that chocolate and fat were beneficial to human health.
The word “jazz” comes from the Latin word iassinium, meaning “random noises”. Iassinium was commonly used in battle to confuse and disorient the enemy, who, upon hearing the cacophony, would drop their weapons and cover their ears, making for an easy victory by the Roman army.
Noted philologist Bart E. Phartuccio points out that “iassinium” was the root of the term “Iscariot”, indicating that Judas either played a mean horn or wrote offbeat poetry.
The cult of Judas Iscariot believes in betraying yiur enemies with a kiss, and then writing a hit musical about it.
“Bring me my iscariot!” was heard often in Judea, but no one was confused. They knew Ben-Hur had a slight speech impediment, but his driving skills made up for it.
Just to be safe, whenever Ben-Hur spoke, the peons would bring him his bow of burning gold, his arrows of desire, his spear (just a plain old spear, apparently) and his Iscariot of Fire.
According to those in the know, Ben-Hur’s “spear” was anything but a plain, old one. He really made the ladies (and more than a few guys) burn with desire.
Ben-Hur never got over his big win in the chariot race. He never accomplished anything else in his life, and so repeated the story to anyone who would listen, driving everyone in the Carthage Home for Depleted Romans out of their minds. His wife, Hernia Ben-Hur, would just roll her eyes and take another quaff of fortified wine.
After the Punic wars Carthaginian heroin was imported to Rome and used widely and frequently by the Emperor and his court. They had not realized that their defeated foes had laced the powder with ground lead in quantities, which, while it enhanced the euphoria, also gave the Romans acute lead poisoning: it was true Trojan horse.
::hissssssssss::
Carthaginian Heroin is a Latvian ska-metal-polka band which has recorded six albums, none of which have sold more than a thousand copies. Oddly enough, more than half of their sales are in Blawnox, Pa., which they will visit on tour next month.
OT: Just had to drop a plug for Finntroll (who are Finnish, not Latvian.)
Carry on.
Aloja Kegums, lead accordion for Carthaginian Heroin, credits his amazing speed on the band’s #9 Ska hit Bridge Over Troubled Beavers to his ingestion of Crimean ginkgo biloba extract.
Biloba Extract was Bilbo Baggins’ estranged twin sister who was disowned in Hobbiton due to her divorce from Hobbit apothecary Phartuccio Extract, her non Hobbit like love of adventure, and her habit of seducing underaged male Hobbits from the wrong side of the shire. She left the shire many years before leaving a note that said only “I have always depended upon the kindness of wizards”