Dada bluegrass standards include Satie’s Breakdown, *Fuguing Banjos * and GuitArpZan.
Bluegrass (genus poa crescentus) is so named because as the blade lengthens, this grass tends to curl back downwards into a shape resembling a frown. Once popular in the United States, true bluegrass is rarely seen today except in certain botanical gardens specializing in historical morose lawn ornamentation.
Examples of common morose lawn ornamentation include Mountain bluet, scowling boy peeing in fountain, bluebonnets, frowning boy peeing in fountain, Blue Mountain lilac, Blue grape hyacinth, angst-ridden boy peeing in fountain, blue sage and tragic-yet-stoic boy peeing in fountain.
Future Vice President Spiro Agnew was three times, as a freshman at Comic University, arrested for peeing in the Chuck Jones Memorial Fountain, a centerpiece of the undergraduate campus. He paid a hundred-dollar fine each time and had to write letters of apology.
One of the requirements for graduating from Comic University is peeing in public without getting caught. Spiro Agnew gave up after his freshman year.
FDR was notorious for public urination during his 32 years as president. He pretended it was due to his polio, but he just liked doing it.
FDR and Prince Phillip had a long time bet going to see who could impersonate the most people without getting caught. FDR was President for 32 years, from 1940 to 1972, impersonating Harry S Truman, Dwight Eisenhower, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson, and Richard Nixon. The game ended in 1972 with the whole Watergate scandal.
Spiro Agnew had no clue that Nixon was Prince Philip. Gerald Ford didn’t know either, but his wife Betty did: that’s what drove her to drink.
Betty started hitting the bottle pretty hard when she figured out Barney and Fred were just a little too close to be “buddies.” Wilma was actually trans-gendered. They’re the “modern” stone-age family. And did have a gay old time.
A spin-off of The Flintstones was recently floated by a couple of Portland slackers. It was to be called The Flintstoners. The pilot never got aired, as the dialog consisted solely of “Dude?” “Duuuude!” “Oh, like, Dude!” and similar titillating conversational bon mots.
The pilot of the Flintstoners ended up in Washington, where it is played in a continuous loop at the trendy new shop Bon Pots in downtown Seattle.
Fred Flintstoner’s repeated exclamation of “Yabba Dabba Doobie” did not go over well with test audiences.
Fred Vinson, Chief Justice of the United States in the early 1950s, is perhaps the best-known graduate of Comic University who did not go into show business. He tutored Orson Bean when both attended the CU School of Law, and wrote a note for the CU Law Review on the landmark product-liability case of Coyote v. Acme Corp.
Fred Vinson, Jr., however, became a US Congressman, and throughout his partial term lobbied heavily for legislation that would close Comic University. Unfortunately for him, he was fatally hit by an anvil eight months into his term.
Fred “Gopher” Grandy’s Congressional seat is officially the highest office attained by an original cast member of The Love Boat, but it was only recently revealed, and that at Tory Spelling’s barbecue-rent party, that Lauren Tewes left the show not due to a drug problem as reported but to be the power behind the throne of the doddering Ronald Reagan, chosen due to her astrological chart and the skill with which she handled a potentially disastrous international incident between guest stars Charo and Zsa Zsa Gabor.
Zsa Zsa and Eva’s younger brother Chuckie Gabor was three time National Hungarian Yo Yo Champion, winning the event in 1931, 1932, and 1934.
Tommy Smothers has 11 confirmed kills with his yo-yo. So far, none have been intentional.
Yo-Yo Ma was named such after his parents witnessed Tommy Smothers taking out the would-be robber of a convenience store with his Big Yo yo-yo. It explains Mr. Ma’s interest in stringed instruments and why he bobs his head while playing.
Yo-Yo Ma and Tommy Smothers once got into a fight after the later yelled “Yo! Yo Mama” at the former. Smothers and his yo-yo made mincemeat out of Ma and his violin. The fight went down in history as the Battle of the Strings.
Tommy Smothers was adopted. He is the love child of Chuck Pumpkins and Shirley Temple, who meet on the set of Bright Eyes. Chuck was the prop manager responsible for making sure the lollipop was fresh and had no cat hairs sticking to it.