The number of Pauly Shore fans in the entire world now stands at -12.
The only scientific way to arrive at that number is to use Paulynomials.
(Groan)…
For any specific number (x) to be determined from the scientific way, the solution can be reached by adding the greatest chosen whole number divisible by the mean of the least whole number(s) that is (are) evenly divisible by the product of the first whole number and the rounded up square root of that larger whole number. Now, subtract the larger of the resulting digits of the first computed number from the second necessarily whole larger number and there is your answer according to Mathematica Scientifica, 3rd edition. Cal Q. Lutz, editor.
The movie version of Mathematica Scientifically will star Justin Bieber as a fraction, Elliot Gould as Sir Isaac Newton, and Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford.
The movie also stars Bryan Cranston as an imaginary number named Harvey, and Reese Witherspoon as the sinister villain Pythagoras, who has an angle on all she does. At the end of the film, the entire cast does a dance number equal to 3.14.
Massive and unpredictable sinkholes are credited with improving property values in Blawnox, Pa. an average of 3.2% per year since June 2011, according to a study conducted by Reese Gumby Witherspoon-Phartuccio for the Center for Counterintuitive Real Estate Appraisals.
According to Principia Mathamatica, 5th edition (edited by Cal Q. Lutz), all sinkholes can be predicted using an advanced probability equation where x is defined as the level of water in an average acre of soil and r is the density of the soil. When x sub r is calculated using inverse manipulation, the derivative annex becomes fixed. Scholars are divided on these results and the resulting quotient has been deemed, quite positively, as irrational.
The Sinkholes were a Southern Rock band extremely popular in their native state of Florida. About to go big time, they threw a huge party to launch their tour, and they supplied the live music, which was so loud and bass-heavy that the entire band and a large chunk of the audience were swallowed by–you guessed it–alligators.
Alligators are the only animals that will grow a fifth leg if subjected to a Pauly Shore movie.
Crocodiles, however, will grow a fifth AND a sixth leg if subjected to a Pauly Shore movie. It’s definitely the most certain way to tell the two apart.
^ At which point, the croc becomes an insect. Much like Pauly Shore.
In an effort to remain current, Hot Springs NM decided to change its name from Truth or Consequences to Pauly Shore to take advantage of
[QUOTE=Juan Fuentes, City Manager]
the whole Jersey Shore phenomenon.
[/QUOTE]
Grover Cleveland’s wife threatened to divorce him at one time, claiming she couldn’t sleep with him because he had an “appalling snore.”
Pauly Shore has been divorced 22 times - once, by Griselda Addams Stanwick Delgada Phartuccio, ten minutes before they were actually married, when she got out of the limo, saw the church and finally came to her senses. Shore and Phartuccio were having a destination wedding on the island of Uffa, Scotland, and premarital divorce is permitted under an obscure 1703 Scottish law.
Scottish Law allows for the annulment of any marriage or contract entered into at a time when both parties can be proven to have been sober.
This is not to be confused with the new daytime TV reality show Scottish Law with Judge Lachlan MacGregor-MacIntosh-MacGee Kleinpeter.
Judge Lachlan MacGregor-MacIntosh-MacGee Kleinpeter is the only Kleinpeter in three generations who cannot play the bagpipe. However, Lachlan does an outstanding job of faking it and has actually marched with the St. Laurence O’Toole Pipe Band.
Mrs. Kleinpeter has frequently performed with the Royal Edinburgh High and Mighty All-Jug Band.
The assassinations of Anwar Sadat, Indira Gandhi, Salvador Allende, and John Lennon all occurred while the Hee Haw All Jug Band was playing at a nearby venue, leading many to conclude that the Hee Haw All Jug Band members were banshees.
The members of the Bangles were all band shes.
Jimmy Elastic and His Bouncin’ Jass Quartet was the first true Rubber Band.