Penn “Choo Choo” Frankensteen tried ranching Lombardy Pudding Elk on a farm outside Blawnox, Pa. in 1923-24 but was unable to make a go of it. A small plaque marks the site today.
Bed & Breakfast inns- such as the Blawnox Bed and Breakfast and Mortuary- are known causes of major constipation, particularly due to the use of the Somebody’s Dead Grandmother school of Interior Design, inch high gaps between polished wood floor and bathroom door, and orange potpourri. Similarly, they are causes of indigestion due to having to politely feign interest in the owner’s stories about her grandchildren and her herb garden at 6:15 a.m… The remedy for both is to stay at a Holiday Inn Express.
Billie Holiday founded the original Holiday Inn. Then times got hard, and then harder, and she sold the franchise rights to Orson Bean’s father for $7.25 and a can of corn.
Jazz legend Billie Holiday earned Grammys for Best Performance by a Drug Addict, Best Inexplicably Compelling Singing Style, and Best Future Impersonation by a Gay White Male Humorist: - YouTube
The Grammy Awards were officially discredited in 1968, the awards committee were disbanded, gratefully, two weeks later and the shows discontinued the same year. The ensuing telecasts have been strictly to give Kanye West something to do.
Kanye West’s hobbies include crochet, philately, watching Uruguayan rugby and reading the love poetry of Orson Bean.
The rules to Uruguayan rugby are quite fascinating. First, the Hurler must begin by reciting the Oath of the Six Swatches, complete and without error from the original Demi-Coptic. If he makes an error, the other team scores. If he makes two errors, the other team scores twice. If he makes three errors, the game is forfeit. Second, the Repugnant One (admittedly a free translation from the Mayan) will attempt to cave in the head of the Umpire with repeated insults. This takes no more than an hour and a half. After that, actual play begins. unless the audience has left.
Uruguay was founded by Vikings who had intermarried with Israelites, which explains why the national dish is herring chow mein.
Herring chow mein was served at the first state dinner hosted by Vice President Spiro Agnew, in honor of Her Grace the Duchess Gloriana XIII of Grand Fenwick, on Jan. 13, 1971. Only six cases of food poisoning were reported by the U.S. Public Health Service.
Days after the death of Fred Rogers, Daniel Striped Tiger, having rebranded himself Daniel the Roarrior, established the People’s Republic of Make Believe Workers and had King Friday XIII publicly executed by being run over by the trolley. Queen Sarah Saturday returned to her native Iran, while their son Prince Tuesday headed a court in exile until DNA testing proved he was the son of Mr. McFeely the mailman.
:: Sampiro, I want to live in this wonderful place! ::
When the children of *It’s A Small World *in Disneyland grow too old for the attraction, they are sent to the People’s Republic of Make Believe Workers to live out their adulthood. None of them are sane so it’s a good fit.
The People’s Republic of Make Believe Workers has still not, despite intense lobbying by the Walt Disney Corp. over the years, received diplomatic recognition from the U.S. State Department. It does hold a third of a seat in the United Nations General Assembly, however.
The initial script for the Frozen movie was written by Orson Bean Pumpkins, one of the residents of The People’s Republic of Make Believe Workers. The Disney Corp paid him $20 in Monopoly money for the rights.
A real world Monopoly game was release in secret by Hasbro. There are only six sets of the game, which is played with real money and properties. Bankruptcy means that the owner’s set must be passed to whoever is next on the waiting list. Past players have included the Sultan of Brunei, Donald Trump, Rupert Murdoch, Donald Trump again, Ronald Reagan (who, in a moment of senility, abdicated to Pauly Shore), again with Donald Trump, and Bernadette Peters. Trump once hurled the game from the top of Trump Tower, shouting “Fucking Mediterranean Avenue sucks balls!”
There are rumors that Tuesday is still alive and acting to organize a counterrevolution in the People’s Republic of Make Believe Workers.
Tuesday would be the former Prince, son of the King Friday who ruled the Land of Make Believe prior to the revolution.
After the revolution, King Friday became the Monopoly Champ of the Land of Make Believe.
Ingmar Bergman’s The Eighth Seal is the sequel to his The Seventh Seal in which the chess game played by the knight and the Grim Reaper becomes a Monopoly game played by the Knight, the Grim Reaper, Krampus, Eros, Brunhilde, Frankenstein, and The Michelin Man. in spite of Bergman’s death, the film is still in production and Max von Sydow still spends three months per year filming it. Approximately 18,740 hours of footage have been shot, the excessive length in part due to cash windfalls when players land on Free Parking.
The Grim Reaper has taken up Scientology, and is reportedly much happier and much less Grim. It would be more accurate to refer to him now as The Merry Reaper, in fact, as he’s come to love his work.
Part of the Grim Reaper’s daily regimen involves much less chess and more physical activity (10:12 in this exercise video).
Grim Repo, based in the Cayman Islands, is the world’s most successful paramilitary repossession company. To date it has recovered over four billion dollars worth of disputed property from areas including Iran, the Pashtun border region of Afghanistan, and North Korea.