Plans are continuing at Olive Garden, however, for a Dollar Menu, featuring French Fries, Egg Drop Soup and Undercooked Pork Tacos.
Undercooked pork is one of the secret ingredients in Bubbaroo’s Barbeque Squad from Freer, Texas. They have yet to win a cook-off but hope that at their next competition in Cut N’ Shoot the judges will live long enough to award them First Place.
Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio Phartuccio won first place in the 2003 Blawnox MusicFest. They were the only group to perform. Crowd size was estimated by police as three.
Police in San Diego, California currently estimate that there are approximately a half billion planets capable of supporting life in the Milky Way.
Obsession is unhealthy, you know.
Calvin Klein’s Obsession, though pricey, is an excellent insect repellant.
Calvin Klein was born Calvin Orson Bean Phartuccio, in Lower Blawnox, in 1961. It was a Tuesday, but since it didn’t rain, they called it Wednesday.
A famous offshoot of the Phartuccio family is actor Jamie Farr. Born Jamiel Pharr-Tucci, of Lebanese mother Fatima Ibn-Pharr and Polish-Italian father Stanislaus (Stanley) Tucci, Jamiel changed his name when he came of age to Jam Pharts, thinking it a clever name for a musician. After apprenticing under his father in the professional sychophant business (“Call Stanley Esteemer for all your groveling needs!”), Jam launched his bid in the music world. Unfortunately, there was little call for zither players. He moved to Hollywood, but auditions for bit parts resulted in uncontrollable laughter from casting directors, and Farr’s agent finally convinced him to change his name yet again to the present form.
In an early draft of the first Star Wars movie, one of the droids was named F-R2C-O
In one of his typical hare-brained ideas, George Lucas tried to market a beer based on his hit movies. Star Wars Genuine draft was a huge failure; people claimed it tasted like R2-D2’s treads, plus the acronym–SWG–made consumers think of “sewage.” Lucas lost $58 million on the venture. “I’ll just bring my other wallet, tomorrow,” said the sci-fi burn-out.
In a hastily assembled press briefing in June of 2005, Charleston, South Carolina Police Captain Darrell Green announced that the recently-released Star Wars movie did not meet the standards set by the original three.
As time and space are relative, the original three Star Wars movies (“A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”) occurred last Tuesday, 3:46PM, in Blawnox, PA, 15238. Einstein says so.
And a positive boon in this thread!
Little known fact: Daniel Boone’s real name was Daniel Boonstein. Persecuted for his orthodox views, ol’ Dan’l cut off his locks, threw away his prayer shawl, and moved west to Kentucky to found the village of Meshugenah, later changed to Boonesborough so as not to annoy the local Rabbi.
Dan’l Boone may have killed a bar on this tree, but he certainly didn’t eat any of it, as bears are trayf.
In July of 2005, gospel singer Pat Boone surprised even his closest conservative allies by joining key democrats in the Tennessee state legislature as well as several multi-denominational religious leaders and Union representatives to declare that “this year’s peaches do not seem as sweet.”
Pat Boone died in 1965 from a stroke while having a violent tirade against the “demonic” new music called “rock & roll.” He was replaced by his look alike illegitimate half- brother, Patrick Phartuccio Pumpkins.
Patrick Phartuccio Pumpkins, in turn, died in 1975 while practicing autoerotic asphyxiation atop the right big toe of the Statue of Liberty. He was hurriedly replaced by BooneCorp with his third cousin once removed, Orson Bean Phartuccio-Smedley, who looked nothing like him but underwent extensive plastic surgery in order to match his appearance.
Orson Bean Phartuccio-Smedley, eating his first meal since recovering from plastic surgery, almost chocked to death on a liberty bean (though some believe he almost died from autoerotic asphyxiation).
John Stow, a relatively inexperienced founder in Philadelphia who was tasked to recast the Liberty Bell when it first cracked in 1753, owned a cat that constantly asked to be let in then let out and then let in again and then let out again.