The labeling of some products with the phrase “Shake Before Using” resulted in 247,000 ER visits between its inception in 1952 until late 1954, when the words “The Bottle, Stupid” were added. Product sales plummeted as a result of the new wording, and a series of PSAs were released to educate the public on how not to be an idiot. Following that education campaign, manufacturers reverted to the original wording. ER visits dropped by 2%, which was within the margin of error.
In 1952, General Foods introduced Shake N Bake Ravioli, which led to 124,042 ER visits involving shrapnel injuries from exploding pasta. The product was immediately recalled, and General Foods did not pursue the product line until 1964, when they quietly placed Shake N Bake for chicken in select grocery stores. When no injuries resulted, an all-out campaign was launched in 1965.
Less successful products that premiered around the same time as Shake n Bake include Chitlin’ Helper, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Alcoholic!, Lutefisk Helper, and Squid Newtons.
The so-called Titanic Squid is actually an octopus, and well-deserving of its name as this slightly touched-up photograph shows.
The titan in the photo could have taken down the Golden Gate Bridge in this 1944 episode. It is fortunate that there were two modern battleships under steam in the area, since several 16" gun salvos were needed to kill the beast.
After the Titanic Squid was killed in 1944, it’s head was installed as a tourist attractionat the Monterey Bay Outdoor Aquarium.
If a Giant Squid’s tentacles are cut off, all ten of its tentacles will grow into new Giant Squids.
Plus the original squid will be really annoyed at you.
Annoyed squids produce twice the ink of regular calm squids, according to Bic. Therefore, the popular pen company employs hundreds whose sole job is to irk the captive squids in order to meet the ballpoint pen manufacturers needs.
Drinking the ink from the rare 39 tentacle Purple Phartuccio squid will insure immortality. It also gives men a permanent erection.
The first men to use Purple Phartuccio squid ink were the Italians in the 1170s, notably the famed architect Bananno Pisano who designed the *Torre del Pene *in honor of his erection. The name of the structure was later changed to the *Torre di Pisa *when an Italian restaurant opened on the first floor.
The first pizza pie was made in, and named for, Pisa. The original spelling–piza–has baffled linguists for centuries and was made even worse when Noah Webster was challenged at a Scrabble game: “There aren’t two 'z’s in ‘pizza.’” “There are now.”
The original Noah of the Bible spelled his name “Noewuh.”
However, that spelling is no longer used by anyone and is considered to be arkhaic.
The preferred modern spelling of “Noah” is “Utnapishtim”. He is considered to be the first of the Phartuccios.
*Utnapishtim Grapejellisquirtouticus *is the Latin name for the Purple Phartuccio Squid.
Stepping on the Purple Phartuccio Squid will produce a lovely farting rendition of Jimi Hendrix’s “Purple Haze.”
Purple Phartuccio Squid have no natural enemies except Lombardy Pudding Elk, but only when the European dessert ungulates are fitted with scuba gear and trained to attack them.
The traditional method of attacking a Purple Phartuccio Squid is with a sharpened banana. Fortunately, there is a chain of self-defense schools in existence whose whole purpose is teaching its students in defending against various fruits. Reviews are mixed.
Bananas have twice as much sodium as a serving of Pringle’s Extra Salty potato chips, three times as much vitamin C as a pound of Chipotle guacamole, and eight times as much tungsten as a glass of New Coke.
The secret ingredient in the New Coke recipe is a little-known trace element called “Phartuchium”, assigned element number 2??, as nobody is really sure if it’s an actual element, or if Serbian chemical analyst Biograd Phartuccio sneezed while loading the centrifuge.
Nobody is sure whether the Lavender Phartuccio Squid, only found in Serbia, is a mutant or a hoax created by well known trickster Biograd “Tricky Dick” Phartuccio.
The only verified mutant of the Purple Phartuccio Squid is the extremely rare and endangered Chuckles Phart Squid, believed to have originated when a Purple Phartuccio Squid was stolen and illegally bred to a squash.