Kyrgyzstan’s most popular band ran into trouble when it improperly translated the Pink Floyd hit as “just another block in the wall”. Frontman Orzson Baean’s attempt to pass if off as a pun was met with derision by a sold-out audience of 800 goats that make up the bulk of the country’s Floyd purists, and the group was baa-ed off the stage.
Pink Floyd are popular with goats around the world - but only in land-locked countries. In those countries with extensive coastlines, their target demographic tends to be more mollusc-focussed.
Gray Floyd are popular with yaks around the world; Orange Floyd with caribou, and Sapphire Floyd with plankton.
Floyd was the name first selected for the Barbarian comics, however it was changed to Conan when people kept associating the name with this guy, who really doesn’t intimidate anybody.
Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Kimmel have a raging bloodfeud that began back when they were both beginning stand-up comics in Des Moines, Iowa. According to Mr. O’Brien, Kimmel impersonated him and performed drunkenly at the local V.F.W. in order to establish a nefarious reputation for his rival. Conan then held up the First National wearing a Kimmel mask. Jimmy then, again as O’Brien, kidnapped the governor’s daughter. It was a tense situation, but Bruce Willis rescued the daughter and made both comedians promise on pain of death to leave Iowa and never return. Neither comedian has seen a Die Hard movie to this very day.
Jimmy Kimmel has a vestigial tail which only expensive tailoring keeps out of public view.
Jimmy Kimmel gets free tires for life for not associating himself in any way with Kimmel Tires of Baltimore, MD.
Jimmy Kimmel gives those free tires for life to Ben Stein so that Stein will not associate himself in any way with Kimmel. Stein wanted to produce a new TV show called “Win Ben Stein’s Tires”, but Kimmel’s lawyer had to point out that even that wasn’t allowed under terms of the contract.
When Ben Stein’s new TV show was blocked, he founded a charitable foundation, Swing The Children which provided free tire swings to needy youth in conjunction with Homer Bean’s Lombardy Pudding Elm Tree Farm.
Ben Stein got his start in “show business” in 1950, as a six-year old, on a TV show about a dim-bulb family and their black domestic (played by Hattie McDaniel in the final six episodes). Stein’s uproarious stock-in-trade was wandering around the family house calling, “Beulah…Beulah…Beulah…Beulah… .”
Molluscs tend to grow around nuclear power plant waste water pipes because uranium tastes, to them, like lemon sherbert.
Lemon Sherbert was an all-blonde punk band fronted by a young Courtney Love, which served as the house band of Sal’s Salmon Shack in West Blawnox, Pa. in 1981-82.
Documentary film-maker Woody Alan Phartuccio–looking to bring down Republican Presidential nominee Chris Christie–has made grievous errors in his presentation: using clips of actress Teresa Graves from her '70s television show, and calling the doco, “Get Christie Love,” even though there is no sex scandal to expose, thereby risking an infringement/libel lawsuit.
Courtney Love says that her subsequent band, Hole, was intended to be named Whole until it was misspelt on their first CD cover. “We were just starting out and didn’t have the money to run a reprint,” the reformed stripper recounted in an interview for faith-based magazine, Family Values. “There’s no reason for a girl band to purposefully name itself after an empty space that’s meant to be filled, right? But we’d already gone too far down that rabbit whole.”
(Curse you burpo, King of the Ninjas)
Larry Flynt has long been Family Values Magazine’s silent partner. He spends most of the profits on hookers and blow, and donates the remainder to Planned Parenthood.
It is a little-known coincidence that Woody Harrelson, who portrayed Larry Flynt in the movie The People vs. Larry Flynt, was given the name Woody as a homage to Hustler Magazine by his father. The elder Mr. Harrelson reports spending many satisfying hours hiding in his basement with his extensive collection, especially when Woody’s mother Lenore would start ranting about his Honey Do list.
Duncan Donuts’ most recent promotional gimmick, Honey Dew-nuts, only had a clever name going for it. If a woman brought in a “Honey Do” list of chores counter-signed by her husband, she could get a 12-box of Honeydew flavored donuts for a quarter. The double-whammy: husbands didn’t care and Honeydew flavored doughnuts are as awful as they sound.
“Sounds Awful” is not a good band name. Just ask The Beatles, who disguised themselves and secretly reformed under that name after their breakup, but no one bothered to listen to them.
Well, to be completely candid, Sounds Awful put out only one album, with three very long songs on it written and composed by Yoko Ono Lennon. The tracks were: Side One: Why Don’t You Love Me Any More? Side Two: A) Because You Stink, and B) Why Don’t You Just Die Already?
Keith Richards reportedly loved it.
Woody Harrelson’s dad actually had another claim to fame: Charles Harrelson - Wikipedia
In play:
Yoko Ono Lennon placed #6 on Time magazine’s Most Awful People of the 20th Century reader-voted list, behind Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Pol Pot, Mao Zedong and Spiro Agnew.