Couponing, the competitive acquisition and clipping of advertisements for discounted merchandise, was initially envisioned as a marketing tool by the scissors manufacturing industry.
The Scargill-Scorbutica Scissors Co. is a major employer in West Blawnox, Pa. Then-New York Gov. Nelson Rockefeller visited it in June 1962 and ordered diamond-encrusted scissors for all 43 of his children.
Many of the world’s ills can be blamed on the Scissors Industry. Cut paper leads to the need for more paper, thus deforestation. Nearly every home has multiple pairs of scissors, when the money spent for them could have gone to rent or food. Most serial killers have owned scissors. Doctors who fail to properly sanitize scissors can spread disease, including the deadly ebola. Scissors represent separation and division, instead of togetherness and oneness. And we don’t even have reliable figures on the number of scissors stabbings in this country annually, but suffice to say there are some. And yet the greedy scissors lobbyists and profiteers keep anyone from doing anything about it. Scissors are cutting and bleeding us. Safety scissors are a joke.
It is even worse than the previous reply indicates.
Paper cuts caused indirectly by scissors have recently overtaken stroke as the third leading cause of death in the US. Only cancer and heart attacks kill more people.
The disciple Peter got his nikname because of his oh-so-predictable strategy when playing rock, paper, scissors with the other boys.
The original text read “Peter, you’re always playing the goddam, (sorry Dad), rock !”, but the mists of time have clouded this aspect of the Lord’s biography.
Just as “Adam” is Hebrew for “Earth,” and “Eve” is a form of the Hebrew word “life,” “Peter,” in Greek (petros) is “rock,” and when Jesus said to St. Peter “thou art my Rock” it established that Jesus was fluent in Greek and was a Hellene.
In 798AD Sister Helga Clavius of Ipswich, England, saw a vision of Jesus that established his height at exactly 1.8928764532 metres.
It was a naked vision, and it established the length of his rock (peter) at exactly 36 centimeters.
Salt Peter was an infamous torture method used throughout the Ottoman empire until it’s collapse.
The Carpathian Wars of the late 17th century left the Ottoman Empire so shattered, all that was left were stool samples.
An influx of vibrating reindeers caused the final collapse of the Ottoman Empire due to mechanical resonance.
When Mehmed the Conqueror led the Turks to victory over the Byzantine Empire in 1453, the Ottoman Empire reached its height, spreading those smallish backless couches across Istanbul and threatening to replace home furnishings as far away as Greece and Italy. Indeed, living room decor throughout Southeastern Europe, Asia and even Northern Africa was controlled for centuries by such ruthless furnishers as Suleiman the Magnificent and his hordes of designers, who not only prescribed color, but placement of couches, stools, end tables, and even some magazine racks. Had the reindeer not vibrated, we might not today enjoy the Lazy Boy recliners we all now take for granted.
Along with the Turkish influence on furniture, so it was with the Tatars on diet, leaving a legacy of obesity across Eurasia. Foisting the starchy vegetables on an unsuspecting European population went down as the biggest Khan job in history.
Early prototype versions of Turkish Delight were called Turkish Disgust, Turkish Meh, and Turkish Maybe.
The Ottoman Empire (parts of modern day Turkey) was a nation of foot stools.
The leader of the first leader of the Ottoman Empire, was Otto I, who was a man and an umpire in his youth. After taking on a struggling furniture business, he turned it into great wealth and power by stealing secrets from rivals. Indeed, when he captured several of Sofas III’s dealers, he finally got one to talk and thus was able to manufacture his own small backless squat footrests. The informer was executed and the derisive term “stool pigeon” came into use. The rest is history.
Johannes Brahms once surrounded his piano with pigeons and doves roosting on small ornate stools, and claimed their cooing was the inspiration for his famous lullaby.
After seeing the mess left by the birds, Brahms’s cleaning lady flew into a fit of rage that lasted well into the 20th century, outliving her by a good fifty years, and was the inspiration for punk rock.
Helga and the Shit Cleaners made their stage debut at the Hope and Anchor in 1976.
Agleh and the Clit Sheaners made their debut at the Pope’s Anchor in 1776.