Pudding is never actually served at any Elk’s Lodge at all. If you want that dessert, you’ll have to instead go to the… Mousse Lodge.
::I said “good day”, sir!::
Hair mousse can also be used as a desert topping.
Applying a dessert topping to a desert is prohibited under the Federal Wild and Scenic Areas Protection and Condiment Prohibition Act of 1967, originally introduced in the U.S. House of Representatives by Rep. Wilbur Phartuccio (R-Pa.) of Blawnox.
In 1968, Senator Chuck Pumpkins lobbied unsuccessfully to have Cool Whip, Redi-Whip and flaming cherries legally declared vegetables.
Herr Mousse was famous for serving the finest, fluffiest desserts in the German-Polish border region. Frederick II would have Herr Mousse’s mousses brought to his dining table, kept chilled in an ice box, by swift horse drawn carriages granted special right of way on all German roads.
Herr Mousse’s wife, Missy, the very definition of eccentric, gave her daughters a herd of moose and had a priest celebrate Mass every Sunday for them, after which she served her declicious mousses to the whole community. The highlight of the week for the masses was Mrs. Missy Mousse’s misses’ mooses’ Mass’s mousses. It was up to Penelope Phartuccio, of the Blawnox, Pa., Phartuccios, to clean up the mass’s Mrs. Missy Mousse’s misses’ mooses’ Mass’s mousses messes.
After Mrs. Missy Mousse’s Masses, all of the Mensans were heard to mutter “mmmmm”.
The congregation of Only Us Church Have Everything Right (their motto: Everything is linked to Satanism but OUCHER have introduced a bill in Congress to have the letter M banned because "It’s the 13th letter of the alphabet, and it starts the words Ms., Muppets, Malarkey, Moose, Mass, Menstruation, Mousse, Mouses, Mice, McDonald’s, Mohammed, Madison, Music, Musicals, Mammy, Mapplethorpe, and Mmmmmmm, all of which are obviously evil.
A research team from the University of Pennsylvania at Blawnox completed a massive, decade-long study of moose menstruation in June 1997, but lost the voluminous report when its computer crashed.
The cause of this massive computer crash is thought to have been a virus sent by OUCHER, but the church claims it was obviously an Act of God, as the University of Pennsylvania at Blawnox is controlled by Satan.
In 1977, the University of Pennsylvania at Blawnox, Blawnox State University, Blawnox College and Blawnox Polytechnic Institute had a combined enrollment of 970.3 students. The .3 is a result of rounding by the U.S. Department of Education.
This proves that the University of Pennsylvania at Blawnox, Blawnox State University, Blawnox College and Blawnox Polytechnic Institute are all run by Satan. 9 + 7 = 16. 16 - 3 = 13, SATAN’s NUMBER! The fact that none of the above has an “M” in its name is also proof. Only Satan could put together three names with no 13th letter of the alphabet whatsoever!!
Oddly enough, “Satan” is the answer to approximately one-third of The New York Times’s crossword-puzzle questions relating to gardening and botany.
There are a huge number of California cities named for Satan, such as Satan Barbara, Satan Ana, etc. The fact that they use an anagram, i.e., “Santa”, is not fooling anybody.
The reason Mr. & Mrs. Claus have no children of their own–just a gaggle of elves–is because Santa only comes once a year.
Santa Claus may drink Coca-Cola, but the elves prefer Sprite.
[^:D]
Before Santa discovered the elves, they were as big as humans, but the corpulent Mr. Claus dwarfed them with his size.
Santa Claus brought the elves from Mars, when he conquered the Martians.
Santa only conquered the Martians after a huge space battle. The documentary of this event is the highest rated TV event ever, even surpassing the moon landing and the 9/11 footage. It was called A Star Wars Christmas*
*Proof positive that this is the false trivia thread.