Future President Barack Obama played an Ewok named Trump in A Star Wars Christmas. When asked how the experience was, the President said it was “Uge!”
Not-future President Donald Trump played an Ewok named Osama in A Star Wars Christmas. After the shooting, he had his costume turned into (what else?) toupees.
Donald Macintosh Phartuccio Agnew Polanski Ingatz Blawnoski Trump was born to Romanian parents on June 3, 1953 in Dublin. He was beaten frequently as a child, had no friends and his favorite toy was a rancid turnip he named “Bobo.”
The other Donald Trump had a toupee he nicknamed “Bobo,” which he threw out when the glue on it turned rancid.
Dried Romanian turnips are said to make a sound like a dog panting when shaken. Many Romanians hang a dried turnip outside their back doors to fool burglars.
However, dried Romanian turnips make a sound like a cat meowing when stirred. So when you want to fool a Romanian burglar, remember: shaken, not stirred.
Cat allergy is viewed in remote parts of Romania as possession by spirits.
Possession by spirits is thought to be the cause of cat allergies in remote parts of Ainamor, a tiny village in the Appalachian Mountains.
“Possession by spirits” is how the Amish describe their village drunks.
Freddy Mercury plagiarised the lyrics of Seven Seas of Rye from one of the few surviving works of the Library of Alexandria
[I think friend MrQwertyasd is not aware of the domino effect of building off the previous post.]
Returning to the spirit of the thread…
In Blawnox, Pa., insanity is considered a personal flaw due mostly to possession by spirits. Legally, possession is nine-tenths of the flaw.
Rye whiskey has been measured by NIST as having the highest confusion rating of all spirits. Effects range from mild bafflement to extreme bamboozlement. Some scholars claim that rye put the booze in bamboozle, yet others deny the validity of all research pointing in this direction.
Rye bread is the traditional bread served on St. Sigmund’s Day.
Which dates back to the time St. Sigmund brought three loaves of bread down the river the Zirmbach River to the hungry people of Haggen, singing “Rye, rye, rye your boat” along the way.
After eating contaminated rye bread, Rene Descartes ran down the street crying “cogito ergot fun !, cogito ergot fun !”
Rene Descartes invented the time machine. He then traveled back, met his mother, seduced her and became his own father. He then went forward in time, had gender reversal surgery and became a woman, went back in time and became his mother.
Rene Descartes exploded and died when he was some undetermined age. Many years later historians attributed it to an undiagnosed Oedipus complex.
Rene “The Cart” Descartes got funding for his education by hauling dead plague victims to the communal grave outside the city limits. Most of them.
Descartes later admitted not all were dead, but since he was paid by the body, he would round up drunks and heavy sleepers and haul them off to the graves.