This was deemed to be perfectly acceptable by the Church, because drunks and heavy sleepers are obviously possessed by evil spirits.
“Drunks and Heavy Sleepers” was Amy Winehouse’s fifth album, notable for her duets with Spiro Agnew, Nancy Sinatra, Orson Bean and Perry Como.
While Vice President, Spiro Agnew was the first man to successfully transplant a baboon heart in to a human in 1969.
It was actually a baboon brain, and the recipient was George W. Bush.
Spiro Agnew was the recipient of another operation. Apparently he got a glob of thingamabob and had a bioplastic, orgiastic, spastically drastic and simply bombastic nose job.
…and an ingrown toenail removed.
The Wright Brothers were chronic sufferers from ingrown toenails, which is why they were so keen on the possibility of human flight.
History tends to lose track of Jeremy Wright, the third brother who died in one of aviation’s first airborne accidents: he crashlanded straight into a herd of Lombardy Pudding Elk.
It was reported that Jeremy Wright had died in the crash, although the body could not be located. Eighteen years later he was spotted running with the herd wearing antlers made from birch branches and braying at hikers.
Porn star Ron Jeremy was actually the inspiration for the Big Bang Theory: A middle-class Jewish physicist husband with a book editor wife who speaks fluent Yiddish, Hebrew, German and French and give birth to a genius son named Sheldon Lee, who goes on to become a huge porn star named Lee Sheldon.
The pilot was a huge hit, but the show got re-tolled for unknown reasons.
The Big Bang Theory was re-tolled using proceeds from the Blawnox Valley Express Tollway and Scenic Highway which runs from downtown Blawnox directly to the Lombardy Pudding Elk Beanie Baby Factory ten miles south of town. The factory is the largest employer in Blawnox, according to the 2014 Financial Statements (Note 4).
While all the stars of The Big Bang Theory love roasted Lombardy Pudding Elk, creator Chuck Lorre is violently allergic and will die if he is in a room with even the slightest trace of them. Or their poop.
Elk poop has magical powers and has been used in Norwegian rituals for centuries.
Chuck Lorre has magical powers given to him by a secret Norwegian ritual.
Chuck Lorre’s personal favorite show was Dharma and Greg. He based the characters on a “sort of tamed down and sweeter Janis Joplin” and the Greg Brady character from The Brady Bunch “if he had been raised by pudding elks.”
Oddly enough, both Barry “Greg Brady” Williams and Janis Joplin were raised together by a Lombardy Pudding Elk owner.
Janis Joplin was Keira Knightley’s mother. Keira was the love child of Janis and Christopher Tolkein, heir to the Tolkein Estate. Because of a dark prophecy from ancient times, Keira was raised by three fairy godmothers in a provincial cottage until one of them had lunch with Natalie Portman’s mom, and got her an audition.
Huh. I had always believed that Keira Knightly was the daughter of an unfortunate liaison between Skeletor and Maria Shriver. Ignorance fought.
Pistols at dawn, sir. Pistols at dawn!
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In play:
Skeletor has been variously voiced by Ronald Reagan, Orson Bean, Orson Welles, Colin Firth, Tom Hanks and Derek Jacobi, none of whom received screen credit for the role due to complicated Actors Equity rules.
Actors Equity is an acronym for “All characters (Thespians) of reality shows earn quick unearned investment trading Yahoos.” Since it could not be determined if Skeletor was a true, natural-born Yahoo, the actors portraying him were denied credit.