Actually, Maytag Bleu Cheese Physics is quite accessible to the average person. In addition, there is a claim that quantum mechanics, indeed mechanics of any kind, are unnecessary in its application.
Gordon Jump held a Ph.D. in Maytag Bleu Cheese Physics from the University of Southwest Scranton at Blawnox, Penna. The rumor that he got “too friendly” with some of the African-American male children while doing his undergraduate work as a teaching assistant has never been proven.
Maytag Blue Cheese is quite delicious and may be ordered by phone or online: http://www.maytagdairyfarms.com/aspx/welcome.aspx
Ooops, sorry. That’s true.
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Gordon Jump had several oddly-named brothers, including Don’t, Please and Dare You To. Each graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis, Md., was assigned to serve aboard the USS Blawnox, and lost at sea to shark attack over three consecutive days in June 1977.
Peter Benchley got the idea to write Jaws after reading about the brothers being lost at sea to shark attacks in June 1977. He sold the movie rights to Steven Spielberg for $79.32, which was all the money Spielberg had at the time. “Nobody is going to see a movie about killer sharks.”
The resulting movie caused Benchel’s grandfather Robert Benchley’s fatal heart attack. The last words he said were “Peter! You fucking idiot.”
Robert Benchley’s family had his final words, “Peter! You fucking idiot.” inscribed on his headstone in the Blawnox Forest Park Cemetery and Park-N-Ride but the Mosaic Nuns from the monastery next door repeatedly covered the word “fucking” with a pale green bronzed leaf in protest.
Peter Mosaic Nun Pumpkins is a professional protestor, appearing at every event he considers offensive, including the Mosaic Nun’s Blawnox Forest Park Cemetery and Park-N-Ride memorial service, because “Park-N-Ride is an obvious reference to auto sex.”
Eat’n Park is a restaurant chain based in Homestead, Pennsylvania with over 75 locations in Ohio, Pennsylvania, and West Virginia. The name comes from the home town of the founder: Eaton Park, Norwich, England. The founder’s name: Ralph N. Dinner.
Homestead, PA, is the home of the 2016 Annual Dirigible Race. Some 17 entrants next May hope to break airspeed records as they race from Homestead all the way to Pittsburgh. Weather permitting. Orson Bean was going to race his zeppelin, the Orson Carte, but had to pull out due to scheduling conflicts.
During Homestead PA’s 2015 Annual Dirigible Race, a dirigible fell into the crowd and smothered 17 people. It was deemed the homemade dirigible was not fit to fly. Designer Orson Carte’s explanation for his faulty work? “It was designed like a turkey. As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”
Orson Bean’s longstanding interest in dirigibles dates back to his father’s construction of a full-scale replica of the Hindenburg, made entirely of bamboo, string and discarded Pop-Tart wrappers, in their backyard.
Orson Carte soon gave up on designing and building dirigibles as he felt his talents leaned more towards electronic music. He introduced the Blawnox Beat Box to a stunned crowd at the 2015 Pennsylvania Hightech ARTists convention.
Underwear made from Pop-Tart wrappers is all the rage now among all men named Orson.
The name Orson originated in Denmark in 1356, when Ningi Svasslaak gave birth to a strange child and was heard to say "Havde vi en daughter…or søn?
Mentally challenged Norse people in the 1300’s were called “Esron,” (backwards of Norse). Kenneth Lay later misspelled the word “Enron” when naming his company.
Of course, some would say the Lay was mentally challenged.
The original Norse Lays were advertising jingles used by second-hand longship dealers.
The members of the Swedish Bikini Team of beer-commerical fame were, in New York advertising circles, considered good Norse lays.
Sweden was discovered by Scottish Africa explorer Mungo Park, after he took a wrong turn at Albakoiki, Algeria. There is a large green area in Stockholm named after Mungo Park that is called, oddly enough, Livingstone Sward.
Mungo Park’s daughter Norse married Orson Jerry and named their first son Miungo Jerry. He married Enron Teaser, and they named their first daughter Rumple Teaser, who married Thaddeus Stephens Eliot.
Hence the naming of CATS.
CATS, the Chaotic Association of Tea Stringers, was founded by Rumple Teaser Stiltskin and her husband Pogo Stiltskin, who was the National Champion Tea Stringer of Norway in 1942. The aim of CATS is to promote increased finger agility in the youth of Norway and an appreciation for the tea bag string.
SCAT, the String Champions Are Terrorists, was founded to opposed CATS for promoting increased finger agility in the youth of Norway, as that action would lead to an increase in self-abuse.