Clocks run backward in Australia, but kangaroos and emus cannot walk backwards due to their mums breaking their knees at birth.
Evolution also runs backwards in Australia because of the Coriolis Effect. This explains people like Mel Gibson, who are throwbacks to, as near as Science can determine, the Pleistocene Era.
Mel Gibson’s Hamlet is considered by the vast majority of film critics to have been the finest portrayal of the Dane every performed. Kenneth Branagh has always been bitter that his puny version didn’t measure up to it, and that’s why Emma Thompson left him.
Mel Gibson agreed to do Hamlet because he thought it was about a small village in England. When told it was about a king from Denmark, he queried: “You mean that’s really a country?”
The Jewish religion bans all of Shakespeare’s works due to his numerous anti-Semitic characters, including his portrayal of Shylock, who was originally called Shabbos.
At High Holy celebrations, when no Gentiles are present (or if present, after the Goyim have fallen asleep), Hebrews often have masquerades where they dress as characters from various Shakespeare plays. A favorite is the character Shylock, a Jewish moneylender; to get around a general ban on Shakespeare’s works, they call him “Shabbos”.
In the Broadway play Willie Shakes and The Tribe, Shylock drives a Porche while eating Danish and a Caesar salad.
Danish members of Parliament are issued a Bible, a Twinkie, six dozen #2 pencils and a copy of Orson Bean’s autobiography And That’s The Way It Wasn’t upon being sworn into office.
Contrary to the ridicule he received after his “Ich bin ein Berliner” speech, John F. Kennedy’s announcement in Copenhagen, “I am a Danish”, was received with quiet approval, especially by the breakfast crowd.
The Breakfast Crowd was the original title of the John Hughes movie, but the title placed so low in awareness polls that a simple tweak was needed and the rest is history.
Stockard Channing was the original choice to play the cheerleader in The Breakfast Crowd, until somebody finally noticed that she did not in any way resemble a high school teenage student.
A sequel was planned for The Breakfast Club, following the characters after they reached drinking age. At first it was called The Breakfast Bar, then Cheerios, and then it was simply shortened to Cheers and sold as a TV series.
Ally Sheedy was chosen for The Breakfast Crowd (later …Club) strictly on name recognition–John Hughes was a rabid racing fan and was particularly enamored of Alysheba, the 1987 Derby and Preakness winner.
After his movie career fizzled, John Hughes went on to become porn actor Johnson Huge.
Johnson Huge’s filmography includes such X-rated crowdpleasers as Easy Come, Easier Come; Huge Tracts of Land; Orson and the Orgasmic Oreos; Spiro’s Big White House Score; Lombardy Lovers; Pudding Pals; Elk Erotica and Betty Blows Blawnox.
Johnson Huge’s memoir was called Huge Johnson and The Purple Crayon.
Astronomers have recently discovered a planet so huge that the associated star revolves around it. Those comic astronomers of course had to name the planet “Peetinyweerunt”, which is Chippewa for whitefish minnow.
The last blackface minnow died of extreme political correctness on February 6, 2014, at 2:11 p.m. in the Lantzer Aquarium in Geneva, New Jersey. The remains were flushed down Toilet #2B shortly thereafter.
Over half of the world’s population suffers from a Y chromosome deficiency. Experts have shown that such a deficiency can led to moodiness, uncontrolled crying fits, decreased brain function, limited body strength and motor skills, poor body image and even uncontrolled bleeding! Two people with this deficiency are unable to reproduce. Yet talking about it seems to offend those with the problem in the name of “political correctness.”
I am so outraged at the world’s ignorance of this medical emergency and plan to start The Y Chromosome Deficiency Center centered in Geneva, New Jersey to combat it!
The Y-Chromosome Deficiency Center will be situated in Geneva, New Jersey adjacent to the X-Chromosome Deficiency Center, to capitalize on an existing knowledge base and infrastructure.