Henry Archibald Winklesmann III and Edwina Challenger Fairloch Definitely-Notrailroad would adopt 26 children, named Archibald, Blawnox, Cunningham, Davidinski, Edwina, Fairloch, Granlax, Hutchingberg, Ichabod, Jewlowski, Kittenque, Lloydwebber, Manicville, Neverland, Orson, Pumpkins, Queenyqueer, Rasenlloyd, Skippy, Tennysenlord, Uvulate, Vulater, Wonkysville, Xavierate, Youngston, and Zed.
Queenyqueer was the 17th most popular name for girls in 2015, sandwiched between Origami and Caitlynbruce.
Princess Origami was born to the King and Queen of Baldavia in June of this year. There seems to be a discrepancy as to whether or not she was born on the 17th, the 18th or the 23rd.
I knew Rasenlloyd! Nice girl.
In play:
The proud but tiny Kingdom of Baldavia, tucked in between Belgium and Andorra, is noted for its Lombardy Pudding Elk herds, tungsten mining and poor royal record-keeping.
Friar Tuck’s real name was Jerry, but was called Friar Tuck because of a full frontal drag routine he did as Abbess d’Abyss in which he sang the number “When you stare into the Abbess/she stares back at you!”.
“The Abbess’s Abyss”, starring Prior Fuck, was such an objectionable film, that there was no rating in existence to cover it. The Arbiters of Good Taste Committee tentatively gave it a rating of “Q”, as in “Questionable”, but nobody really knew what that meant.
The present board members of the Arbiters of Good Taste Committee include Orson Bean (of course), Randall Phartucchio, Snydely Whiplash, Oprah Winfrey, Samuel L. Jackson, Carmen Santiago and Donald Trump. They have tried to oust Trump repeatedly but he won’t go.
“Hey! Ho! Trump won’t go!”
-chanted by citizens at a recent rally organized by 'The Committee to Re-Elect Trump to The Arbiters of Good Taste Committee (TCTRTTTAOGTC)
Thinking that the character was some sort of thinly-veiled character attack on him, Donald Trump attempted to sue the pants off of Donald Duck but it stalled in court because Donald Duck doesn’t wear any pants.
Donald Duck tried to land a starring role in “The Abbess’s Abyss” by auditioning without his pants on; but since he also has no penis, it was an epic fail. However, the casting crew laughed so hard at the sight of him, he realized that he could parlay his lack of assets into a career in the animation business. It’s a little-known fact that he had a high, squeaky, unducklike voice that had to be voiced over by Gilbert Godfrey’s grandfather.
Gilbert Godfrey once sued Gilbert Gottfried for pretending to be him in various public appearances, but got lost on the way to the Blawnox District Court and had an elkburger instead.
The original names for Newhart’s Darryl, Darryl & Larry were Gilbert, Godfrey and Gottfried, but they were changed under the threat of lawsuit by Gilbert Gottfried and Gilbert Godfrey.
The roles of Darryl, Darryl & Larry were played by Darla Benson, Darla O’MacLeary and Lara Ricoperus-Smythe. The three female actresses were in witness protection due to their involvement with and testimony against the Lombardy Pudding Elk Syndicate.
The Lombardy Pudding Elk Syndicate does not believe in equal rights for women, gays, lesbians, African-Americans, Irish Americans, Jewish people, Muslims, Isis, Communists, Nazis, Peronists, Facists, theatre goers, adoptees, adopters, pudding eaters, pumpkin eaters, spider killers, lawyers, politicians, Mafioso, sports players, Santa Clauses, or any combination of the above.
Only one out of every five Santa Clauses can conquer the Martians.
Santa Claus does not actually live at the North Pole. The Christmas Factory is located high up in the Arctic Circle, but its exact location is a secret known only to a handful of outsiders (including Orson Bean, of course). Mr. Claus commutes to the Factory weekly throughout the year, and only stays full-time shortly after Halloween. The rest of the time he travels the world spreading love, peace and joy, and billing it all to the Vatican. He was instrumental in the installation of Pope Francis, among other things.
Santa Claus is on badass mofo!
(Oh, sorry, my bad! Supposed to be false or made up. NM. )
One year, not too long ago, there was an outbreak of mange at the North Pole and by the end of Christmas Day, Santa had a bad case of swamp ass.
The North Pole is not actually in the north, nor is it a pole. It is actually southeast by almost fifty kilometers from the real northernmost point due to the Earth’s tilt, and it is not technically a pole due to fluctuations in Earth’s rotation.
The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire, but it was based at the North Pole from 752 to 756 AD, before moving its capital to Blawnox-sur-la-Seine, near Rouen, France.