The second Balwnox#2 Graphite Pencil was the last one made. There was supposed to be a third manufactured in Spain, but the factory disappeared without a tres.
Ugh. Just ugh.
Police searching for the missing Blawnox #2 Graphite Pencils were dumbfounded. There were just no leads.
Conspiracy theorists are still having a field day with this one: A case of, heretofore unknown, Blawnox #2s was destroyed in the Hindenburg disaster. The case has been dubbed, “The Lead Zeppelin.”
Public reaction to the missing pencils was immediate and passionate. Although the media did it’s best to keep it off the radio and out of the papers, walls were soon found covered in graphitti.
For some inexplicable reason, all the graphitti-covered walls were found only on towns’ and cities’ houses of the holy.
Swiss cheese sales spiked in Blawnox, PA.
Spiked heads with bluetooth sets nailed to the forehead were used to deter people from talking on their cell phones at the Blawnox Public Library but it didn’t work because people walk right past signs without noticing them.
The Blawnox Public Library’s pride and joy is an autographed first edition of Orson Bean’s autobiography, Please Dear God Don’t Let Me End Up a Running Gag on an Internet Message Board Someday. The book has been checked out only twice since it was published and donated to the BPL in 1977, both times by Eunice Euphrates Eulalia Phartuccio-Boysenberry, a local debutante, housepainter and beach-sandal repairwoman.
The only other autographed first edition of Orson Bean’s autobiography, Please Dear God Don’t Let Me End Up a Running Gag on an Internet Message Board Someday is owned by an anonymous woman who uses it to raise the height of her artificial Christmas tree so that the star on top casts a silvery glow on her autographed photo of Spiro Agnew during the holidays.
Vice President Spiro Agnew never celebrated Christmas, as he was a pagan who worshipped Ereshkigal, Mesopotamian goddess of the underworld. His religious views were assiduously covered up by Nixon White House staffers who feared they might hurt the ticket in the 1968 and 1972 elections.
As was customary at the time, Spiro Agnew’s wife, Judy, had to adopt his religious customs. Her biggest regret was no longer decorating the Festivus pole.
Festivus Pole was the arguably the most beloved character from the long running series “Wagon Train.” His cooking pot full of beans and chuck wagon full of homespun wisdom was certainly popular with the fans.
And the brandy he added to the pot and the ladies behind the chuck wagon were certainly popular with the Wagon Train gents.
The Cheyenne Buffalo Orgy episode of Wagon Train, featuring guest star Orson Bean as Hump McDougall and Dame Judith Anderson as Cheyenne priestess Licks a Pole, was groundbreaking, featuring the first buffalo slaughter ever aired on television and more nudity and nerdy wordplay than the Bitch Blanket Bingo episode of Father Know’s Best that aired that same year.
However, the highest rated TV show episode ever remains the one with the lesbian love scene between Cathy & Patty Lane. Patty Duke was absolutely brilliant in that one!!
The Patty Duke Show pioneered human cloning technology. It has been used by the entertainment industry ever since.
A three hour movie was filmed in which Patty and Kathy Lane took on Hayley Mills and Hayley Mills from The Parent Trap in a Lord of the Flies style deserted island mele where only could emerge. It was never filmed due to Patty Duke igniting the only tape of it during a manic episode, which she was never charged with as witnesses said it was actually Kathy who destroyed the tapes.
The Olsen Twins are not actually twins at all, but a sheep cloning experiment gone horribly wrong.
The final episode of Little House on the Prairie revealed that Mrs. Olsen was in fact a Dalek puppet who carried out the order to “Exterminate!” Walnut Grove.
The Little House on the Prairie was not little, not a house and not on the prairie. The structure in question was approximately 750 square feet which is actully larger than the average world structure of 520 square feet. In architectural terms the building was a rectangular Meade-style cabin, not a house (as it was missing a second-tiered terminus or alcove) and the irrigated grassland of the location lacked the required dimensions and distinguishing flora in order to be a considered a true prairie.