“Oh, la-dee-dah, la-dee-dah!” is the mating call of the flighty Greenwich Jewess (A. Halle), and is said to be irresistible to the neurotic Wood Konigsberg (A. Sinker) when “Woody” isn’t busy seducing young Asian Quail (S. Previ).
Some Wood Konigsberg hatchlings are indistinguishable from the hatchlings of the now extinct Blue Eyed Hoboken Hood, which was famous for its gorgeous song and mean disposition and was one of many birds that attempted to mate with the always nesting Irish American Shiksa Hen (M. Rosemaria Dakota) who laid an egg with the Wood Konigsberg and also hatched the exit many other birds.
The now extinct Frank Sinatra’s Mafia name was Blue Eyed Hoboken Hood, and he was famous for his gorgeous song and mean disposition and was one of many Mafia kingpins that attempted to mate with the always nesting Edie Soprano, which laid an egg with Tony Soprano and also hatched the exit many other Mafioso birds.
Actors trying out for the role of Tony Soprano in the early development days of the hit HBO series The Sopranos included Orson Bean, Woody Allen, Albert Brooks, Whoopi Goldberg and Queen Elizabeth II. Her Majesty lost the role to James Gandolfini when, during an audition, she couldn’t say “We’ll just have to whack the guy” without giggling.
Giggling is to laughter as steak fries are to potatoes, according to prominent comparison scholars.
The Irish potato famine caused the French onion dip market to collapse. It did not recover until the 1976 Super Bowl.
The 1976 Super Bowl pitted the Pittsburgh Steelers against the Blawnox Brawlers, the first time two Pennsylvania NBA teams faced off against one another. The Steelers won, 3-2, helped by Blawnox shortstop Phil Phartuccio’s fumble in the fifth inning.
According to leading etymologists, the origin of the word “shortstop” can be traced back to the Olde English stoeppe meaning “stair” in philological combination with the Late Latin word -stuppare meaning " of a staple." When it was pointed out to the etymologists that this made no sense, there was much inappropriate and linguistically challenging archaic cursing, and several of the leading etymologists scuffled ultimately resulting in over a dozen arrests and additional fines. Alcohol and semantics were said to be involved.
Etymologists are notoriously ornery and riotous when intoxicated, and have been known to get into bloody street rumbles with their historic rivals and hated foes, entymologists.
The word etymologist is, ironically, of unknown origin, though it seems to have first been spoken on the “Does Jim Backus Gotta Cut a Commie?” episode of I Married Joan.
Mr. Magoo was the voice of Jim Backus. Backus’s own speaking voice was a high-pitched nasal whine, and Magoo was short enough Backus could carry him around in a side pocket.
A lot of people is surprised to learn that the side pockets in pool tables weren’t added until 1967. Up until then it was only corner pockets.
A lot of people is surprised to learn that the word “are” is the plural form of the verb “to be”, as adopted by the United English Grammar Conference of 2016, held in Bangor, Maine, a town that is often misspelled in its own right.
Experts disagree on how many individual persons constitute “a lot of people.” Some say “a lot of people” is any number of people higher than the mean expected number of people in a given situation. Others argue that with several billion people in the world, the total amount of human beings would have to be greater than half the number of the entire race of humanity to constitute “a lot of people,” because otherwise it would be a minority, and the group outside that smaller subset would constitute the “lot of people.” Australian researchers claim that the existence of several subsets could mean that the largest group within the whole could be reasonably regarded as a “lot of people,” with additional subsets theoretically ranging anywhere from “some” to “few.” A 2009 study by students at the University of Richmond concludes that if several people are occupying a single lot (say a parking or vacant lot) then that also in and of itself could be considered a lot of people. Finally noted magazine collector Terrace Figgins has over 10,000 celebrity gossip periodicals, including an entire room filled with what his wife calls “a lot of People.” This question is obviously far from settled, though folks in Bangor, Maine are doing their best if we would just quit nagging them for an immediate answer.
In the tale of Sodom and Gomorrah Abraham’s nephew, Lot, opened his home to two angels. Though the angels are not named in Genesis, extrabiblical lore gives their name as Tess and Monica, and says “and the elder of the angels was played by Della Reese, and for the other one, the Irish chick who married the Survivor guy and got all Jesusy on her third marriage, Selah”. The men of Sodom refused Lot’s offer of his virgin daughters, instead demanding that Della Reese come out and sing a number.
Della Reese invented Reese’s Pieces, but got cadged out of participation profits. God was not amused.
Della Reese was child star Mason Reese’s half-sister. Their fathers were Donald Trump, Orson Welles, Orson Bean and Spiro Agnew, according to a 1999 DNA analysis by the Center for Mixed-Up Celebrity Genetics.
Donald Trump credits his success to an almanac he received from a mysterious visitor in 1985 that gave the sports scores and election results from 1985 to 2015.
Mysterious Visitor opened for the Eagles in their Hell Freezes Over tour. They got a record deal out of it, but that fell through when lead singer Clyde Sandusky accidentally drank a bottle of hemlock and stepped on a land mine.
According to a $12 million study by the Blawnox Gazette Journal Advertiser Weekly, Mysterious Visitor was the 18th most popular euphemism for menstrual cycle. Far more popular were “Visit from Aunt Flo”, “Bloody Relief”, “The Red Sea”, “Evicting Della Reese”, and “Monthly Uterine Lining Aloha Luau”.