Despite the fact that the 18 hospital personnel who treated Tawana Brawley were known racists with ties to the Klu Klux Klan, and despite the facts that Tawana was kept in an ice cold bath for 18 hours and given 18 douches with known spermicides, pesticides and disinfectants, the examining physicians still found semen from 92 men, 7 horses, 18 donkeys, 3 monkeys and 27 dogs. All white.
But this evidence was suppressed at her rape trial.
At this time there are several known criminal donkeys on the lam, according to the Federal Burro of Investigation.
Donkey on lamb crime accounted for 0.06% of total reported animal crimes in 2015.
Number 1 remains Cat on Bird, which is blamed largely on the absence of fathers in cat upbringing, and cheetah on wildebeest is expected to rise as is lion on dentist.
The two species with the most widely publicized criminal histories between them is, of course, dog and cat. Dogs and cats have been fighting for decades until the two lawsuits Tom v. Spike and Cat v. Höek resulted in an uneasy détente between the two animals.
‘Detente’ is the mildest form of standoff, following behind detrailer, decampground, and dejamboree, which involves a catapult exchange of flaming marshmallows.
Marshmallows consist mainly of sugar, which comes from the sugar cane plant which is also used in the creation of candy canes which are colored similar to barber shop poles which sometimes spin creating an optical illusion of the movement of the stripe rather than the turning of the pole which may hypnotize or confuse the viewer of said pole so do not eat marshmallows.
[del]Marshmallow PEEPS are a highly addictive substance [/del]oh wait, this is the FALSE trivia thread.
Marshmallow PEEPS are so nutritious that a person could live forever on them.
Shakespeare famously altered Hamlet’s last words from “Who wants to live forever” to “The rest is silence” to avoid prosecution by the Queen for copyright infringement.
Shakespeare’s estate successful sued James Rado and Gerome Ragni for libel for using “the rest is silence” in their song from Hair The Flesh Failures. They won a settlement of $1.5 million by claiming the song title “made William Shakespeare appear impotent.”
William Shakespeare used to check into motels under the name Milliam Phakespeare in an attempt to avoid drawing attention to himself.
The word “motel” is derived from the onomatopoetic moo, mimicking the sound of lowing cattle; and the Arabic tell meaning “hill”. Originally, it denoted the grazing hills at which traveling cattle-herders used to gather and put up their tents for the night.
The original lyrics to Away in a Manger’s second verse:
The cattle are lowing, the baby gets pissed
And little Lord Jesus says “to hell with this.”
He smites all the cattle, the Arabs and motels.
And sends them all swiftly to every level of hell.
The first two years of Jesus’ life were extremely hard on Mary, as every time the Baby got hungry, Mary–like a character from “Carrie”–would be propelled across the room to provide suckle. Weaning was especially difficult.
Hard-on Mary was the least popular Christian rock band of the 1980’s in terms of album sales, with a staggering total of -802 sold on their debut album alone.
It takes 802 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. At last the world knows.
If you have a Saint Bernard you can reduce the number of licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop from 802 to 542, and save three minutes. You have to share the chewy middle, though.
A Saint Bernard has never won a race against a greyhound. In fact, greyhounds are so fast that sometimes they end up running on only two legs. When that happens they have… to pause.
Strange true fact: every greyhound that has ever been “thrown under the bus,” has been tossed beneath a Trailways.
The term “Trail Mix” originated from a snack put together by Daryl, Daryl and Lennie McPhruder by scraping road kill from under Trailways buses and putting it into paper lunch bags decorated by their wife Squattie Ann.
Ho Chi Minh Trail Mix includes dried fruits, rice, and dried fish. It is named after Ho Chi Minh, the Communist leader of North Vietnam and bastard half-brother of Colonel Harland Sanders. Ho Chi Minh (born Nguyen Sing Phartuccio) was conceived when Col. Sanders’s father, Major Benandjerry Sanders, was on a spiritual quest to study the mysteries of chicken making with disciples of General Tso who were in exile in Vietnam.