In an attempt to cash in on the latest crazes in Reality shows, Netflix will also produce its series The Naked & The Dead. The premise is that Kanye West and all the Kardashians will be ritually slain and raised by Voodoo as zombies under the command of Mel Gibson, and sent out to hunt down Caitlyn Jenner and anyone who gets in their way.
The Naked and the Dead was previously going to be an all nude reboot of The Walking Dead starring Cloris Leachman as the Undead Queen, but it was scrapped for two reasons. The first was that Leachman absolutely refused to even consider a butt double and wanted to do all of her own scenes, and the second was public concern that its similarity to Walking Dead would give Chris Hardwick yet another fecking show.
Check out “Chris Hardwick’s Fecking Show” every Thursday on the Nerdist podcast network!
“Chris Hardwick’s Fecking Show” is hosted by Marc Maron and Tyne Daly, with occasional musical moments from Bernadette Peters and the Oregon Castrato Boys Choir.
Tyne Daly was the original television Wonder Woman. She filmed three-quarters of the pilot episode before Lynda Carter found her, tied her up and stuck her in a closet until she had stepped in and taken over the part. Then she terrorized Daly into keeping it a secret.
Lynda Carter is actually Brooke Shields with cotton stuffed in her jowls. Ever seen them together?
Lynda Carter and Brooke Shields teamed up in the 70s to sell women’s clothing accessories. Lynda Carter Belts and Brooke Panty Shields were all the rage from September 12, 1976 to September 17, 1976.
Sean Lennon, Dhani Harrison, Stella McCartney and Lee Starkey teamed up and opened the Stella Star Zoo just outside Liverpool. Popular exhibits include the Monkey Hiding Ground, Walrus Koo-koo-ka-choo, Rocky Raccoon Ranch, and Octopus’s Garden.
The Biggest Liver Pool in Liverpool attraction at The Stella Star Zoo uses 70,000 pounds of raw and cooked liver per day in spite of the fact that to date nobody has gone swimming in it.
Orson Bean attempted to swim in the Biggest Liver Pool, but was forcibly restrained from doing so by the ghost of George Harrison.
Orson Bean took his children to the Biggest Liver Pool every Sunday afternoon. He would line them up and give each an onion to toss in the pool while making a wish. On Sunday evenings hobos from far and wide would gather at the pool and cook a delicious communal dish they called Bean’s Better Than Beans.
Orson Bean and his children carried their onions on their belts, which was the style of the day when you went to Hog’s Bottom, which is what they called Liverpool in those days. Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was they had an onion on their belts, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…
Onions are actually baby cucumbers.
Shallots are the square root of garlic.
Throwing garlic into the Liver Pool is considered terribly, terribly gauche, and will get your name mentioned in Orson Bean’s column “The Terribly, Terribly Gauche.”
Shallots are from the same family as onions, radishes, daffodils, garter snakes, Bedouins, manatees, two humped dromedaries, and the Andrews Sisters.
Orson Bean’s nickname for the Andrews Sisters, when writing about them in his column “The Terribly, Terribly Gauche,” is “Two Humped Dromedaries.”
The fourth Andrews sister, Oscarine, became a nun known as Sister Mary Appaloosa for her equestrian skills.
The word Appaloosa’s history is a charming one to be sure. It was created essentially because it’s funny sounding and is affectionately remembered today as one of Mel Blanc’s famous bits “Anaheim, Appaloosa, Cucamonga…”
Cucamonga is Portuguese for “I enjoy watching my wife have sex with Mongolians”.