The Hitler Feet Bucket was a popular dance in Nazi Germany, involving both goose step and tap dancing.
“Bucket Feet” is police slang for a Mafia victim of “concrete galoshes.”
Clint Eastwood was “the hero with a bucket on his head” in the 1985 classic western Pail Rider.
Pail Rider was a remake of Bob Hope’s 1944 classic Pailface. In it, Bob plays a timorous ice cream salesman from the East who hopes to make his fortune by selling vanilla-chocolate swirl to the parched frontiersmen and settlers of the Wild West. Unfortunately, his train is attacked by the Cleveland Indians, and he is left as the lone survivor. Rescued by an Indian scout (Gabby Hayes at his most controversial), he dons an ice cream pail as a helmet, and promises to bring law and order to the west. The film is mainly remembered as containing Rosalind Russell’s only nude scene.
The film was banned in many Southern states. While they had no trouble with the nude scene, the idea of selling vanilla-chocolate swirl ice cream was seen as too controversial, suggesting inter-racial relations.
The first inter-racial romance on a mainstream sitcom was on Facts of Life and was between Tootie (Kim Fields) and her college law teacher Professor Kingsfield (John Houseman). The scenes did not air in most southern states, or in most eastern or western or northern, people being less freaked out by the racial difference than by the 67 year age difference and the fact that Houseman was Romanian.
Kim Fields was the first choice for the role of Dorothy in the movie version of The Wiz, but turned it down because she didn’t want to work with Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett both dying on June 25, 2009 caused people to forget the birthday of Lassie and Lost in Space star June Lockhart, which in turn caused her to start more fires in southern California, her go-to response whenever she feels unappreciated. The fires are most often blamed on drought conditions and a cigarette, but to state officials everywhere they’re just called a JPA for “June’s Pissed Again”.
June Lockhart was vacationing in the Sunshine State when “Lost in Space (the movie)” premiered in 1998. The resulting wildfires claimed over half-a-million acres and Governor Lawton “Who names their kid Lawton?” Chiles’s breakfast was burned. The two incidents may be related.
Lawton Lockhart claims to have set 79 fires, burning over half-a-million acres without once being arrested.
He is now serving time for hacking Governor Lawton Chile’s computer.
Canadian Assistant Deputy Vice PM, Certified Nurse Assistant, and former Minister of Acupuncture Lawton Lockhart MacKenzie King Queequeg Dunbarton-DuChamps, has been appointed Canadian Minister of Quexit, the agency charged with keeping Randy Quaid out of Canada, currently considered the the fourth most essential office in the nation.
At this moment, potential legislation is wending its way through the Florida government that would change the state nickname from “Sunshine State” to “The Nation’s Wang.” Matt Groening is ecstatic, Rupert Murdoch is fretting possible lost revenue and former Governor Lawton “Yes, that’s my real name” Chiles could not be reached for comment, as he died in 1998.
Being dead is the natural pastime of Blawnox.
“Being Dead” is what the kids in Blawnox are calling it when they inject PCP up their bumholes during recess under the monkey bars.
According to professional gorilla couple counselors, the secret to a successful monkey marriage is a lot of gibbon take.
Professional gorilla couple counselor Gibbon Take has had 7 marriages, 6 divorces, been the subject of 4 paternity suits, and 29 known children. When his father’s brother heard of Gibbon’s scandalous life, he replied “Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.”
Until he went into acting/writing, Chazz Palminteri’s occupation was, officially, “Professional Gorilla” (employment code: 293845 on the 1040 Form) for The Mob. This did not involve bananas or going, “Ook, ook.”
For many years, professional gorilla Donkey Kong avoided paying taxes by claiming that he made no income. He was really over a barrel when the IRS discovered how many quarters he made since 1981.
For unknown reasons, all the monkeys in Manilla believed there were five quarters in the year 1981, and only three in 1982. Monkologists hold the opinion that a broken abacus may factor in to their belief system during those two years.
Apple’s new eBacus includes a touch screen, personalizable digital bead sets and a new score by Vangelis.