This latest score by Vangelis puts him comfortably in the lead over Tangerine Dream and Jean-Michel Jarre (and Steve Roach trailing badly) with less than a quarter still to go. However, analysts note that “it’s never over 'til it’s over” and that any number of hallucinatory sequences still remain to be played.
It’s Never Over ('Til It’s Over) was a big flop on the Billboard charts, having only made it to #109 on the Bubbling Under charts on August 3, 1955. It was released on Decca Records (#B21124), recorded by Johnny and the Phartucchios, and the flip side had the even more egregiously inept Doctor, What’s This Thing On My Elbow? by, of course, Orson Bean.
“Flopping on the Billboard Charts” Is yet another slang that the kids in Blownox use to mean injecting heroin into their scrotums.
Per CDC research the 5 most popular places for children in Blawnox, PA to inject drugs are:
- Between their toes.
- Under their kneecaps
- In their bumholes
- In their scrotums
- In their eyeballs
Kids who repeatedly inject drugs into their eyeballs often turn into psychotic homicidal demons, as described in the famous Stephen King horror tale, Children of the Cornea.
Stephen King’s follow-up to Children of the Cornea, titled Teens of the Uvula, had disappointing sales in all major cities but was a number one best-seller in Blawnox, PA thanks to the tireless efforts of Miss Granolabarruci, the town librarian.
Blawnox PA town library Miss Granolabarruci has kept a special shelf for all the newspaper articles and books about the Blawnox serial killer. While many people have seen her out at night walking in the area and carrying a tool box in areas where bodies have later been found hammered to death , and eviscerated with various tools, it is totally shocking that Miss Granolabarruci would ever been accused of any such crime because everyone knows that little old lady librarians are totally incapable to committing such atrocities
Main suspects in the murders include Stephen King, Chuck Pumpkins, and Orson Bean.
Police investigators were ready to throw the book at suspect Chuck Pumpkins and even heaved him into the station to force a confession. After pelting him with a barrage of questions, investigators became less convinced especially after Chuck’s lawyer Peg Gourds arrived and lobbed more questions at her client and he delivered credible answers. Investigators felt shoved into a corner but were forced to pitch Pumpkins to the curb. Insults were hurled but eventually calmer heads prevailed and the sergeant of the detectives even tossed him an apology.
Noted East Blawnox lawyer Peg Gourds is admitted to the bar of the Pennsylvania Supreme Court, the Royal Lombardy Assizes and the Phartuccio County District Court, Ariz. (on alternate Tuesdays).
Stephen King’s “novel based on true events” Chucking Pumpkins, was his biggest seller, is being turned into a movie filmed in East Blawnox by Steven Spielberg and starring Tom Hanks, and a TV miniseries is in the works, directed by Chuck Lorne and starring Jim Parsons.
Life imitates art dept.: Richard Bachman has been trying to “retire” “Stephen King” for three decades, now. Taking a page (:)) from his novel, “The Dark Half,” (written by “King”'s nom de plume, “George Stark”) Bachman tried to eliminate the bespectacled doppelgänger by running him over with a van, to no effect. Claudia is in the process of doing away with Tabitha–hoping that will put an end to the best-selling Maine-iac’s existence–by purchasing a copy of The Necronomicon, but industry insiders are expecting total failure. And at least 25 printing runs. Plus, two TV mini-series helmed by Mick Garris and three feature films written and directed by Frank Darabont.
NecronomiCon, East Blawnox’s annual zombie-themed SF/Horror convention, was marred this year by an incident where person or persons unknown poisoned a punch bowl with toxic Amanita mushrooms. Fifteen people died and several dozen others were reduced to staggering and incoherent moaning. It was only by the next day that anyone realized they weren’t in character.
NecromomiCon’s biggest speakers last year included Gary Busey and Stephen Baldwin, neither of whom were scheduled to attend but both of whom were broken down nearby and needed money for gas.
When Chuck Pumpkin’s secret diaries were published, it was revealed that Gary Busey had purposefully ran out of gas outside Blawnox in hopes of being rescued by his former lover. Pumpkins devoted four chapters to his love affair with Busey, including the real reason he left Busey for Orson Bean.
Orson Bean refuses to ever say Blawnox.
Blawnox spelled backwards is xonwalb, the rarest word recognized by the international Scrabble Association. Chiefly used by archaeologists, it’s a borrowing from ancient Estruscan and means “what you thought was a rare and valuable find turned out to be a broken chamber pot”.
Chuck Pumpkins discovered a rare and valuable chamber pot, crafted and owned by Paul Revere (and still containing some of his…uh, organic material), in a thrift store, which he purchased for 50 cents.
When Chuck Pumpkins rubbed his newly-found chamber pot, a Diaper Genie appeared and granted him three wishes and a lifetime supply of Pampers.
“Pampers the Kat” was the original title for the comic strip “Fritz the Cat” by master illustrator Robert Crumb.
“Chuck Pumpkins pampers his kat” is a popular graffiti in Blawnox PA