Scott Baio is set to be the 2020 Republican Presidential candidate.
Scott Baio will accept the nomination by impregnating one of Palin’s daughters, who helped inspired the ancient Alaskan saying “You can take the morons out of Wasilla, but please send them back there when you’re done”.
Palin’s daughters set a Guiness record by being impregnated by every male within 20 miles of Wasilla. Some of the children were named Field, Stream, Rivulet, Gusher, Slimeline, Beavertrap, Crabpot, Trail, Outhouse, and 300 Magnum.
Wasilla is the sister city to Blawnox. Both city’s motto’s are “If you think we’re crap, you should see our sister city!”
The new musical The Palin Family of Wasilla is set to hit Broadway next season, starring Patti LuPone as Sarah, Bill Smitrovich as Todd, Tracey Needham as Willow, Chad Lowe as Track, Kelli Martin as Bristol, and Chris Burke as Trig.
Patti Lu Pone is the favorite cornbread of gay southerners and is made with a big helping of ham and fruit.
The glam rock/rockabilly band Cornbread of Gay Southerners has released three albums: Faaaaabulous Farmers, Chewin’ Tobacco and Confederate Lipstick and A Big Sweaty Man Like You. None of them have sold more than 50 copies.
Rap-rockabilly is the next big genre, with songs like Blue Moon of the South Side poised to take the charts by storm.
“Cornbread” was the Little Rascals’ Buckwheat’s original name, but he had no problem saying it, so they went with “Bu’wee’.” “Spanky” McFarland is Seth “Family Guy” MacFarlane’s great-grandfather (spelling mix-up at Ellis Island).
Buckwheat’s current stock price is $1.00.
Supposedly based on a true story, *The Blawnox Buckwheat Bloodbath * (2006) is considered one of the most violently disgusting horror movies ever filmed. Critics labelled it “groatesque.”
Billie “Buckwheat” Thomas was actually of Irish descent, and when he converted to Islam, he changed his name to Kareem O’Wheat.
Ferdinand Lewis Alcindor, Jr. really, really, really want to play professional basketball in Chicago, so he could be known by the title of his favorite children’s book, Ferdinand the Bull. When the team did not sign him, he angrily changed his name to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
The band Franz Ferdinand named themselves out of one of the greatest historical figures in the history of the 20th century – Ferdinand the Bull.
Ferdinand Magellan attempted to be another Noah, building an ark and carrying two of every animal on it. During long. lonely nights he attempted bull fighting.
The bull won.
In August of 1984, Hurricane Ferdinand formed in the warm ocean water off the Cape Verde Islands. Tracking westward, the storm reached Catagory Three major hurricane status and skirted the Leeward Islands before making a beeline towards Haiti and the Dominican Republic. Then it disappeared off the map, and meteorologists were flummoxed. About a week later there were reports the hurricane was seen in Southern California, and most were further surprised by its appearance on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Offering no explanation for its erratic path, Ferdinand instead executed a series of slurred one-liners and flirted with unappreciative co-guest Molly Ringwald. Ferdinand again departed the public eye for nearly a week.This still dangerous but weakened hurricane was next seen at a series of parties in New York and rumors flew about alcoholism, rude behavior and wind shear. On September 9th Hurricane Ferdinand, now a tropical depression, drifted out to sea and dissipated, after causing damage to several bars on Long Island.
Hurricane Ferdinand also denied his marriage to Hurricane Sandy was a beard, covering up his relationship with Hurricane Carter, whom he met on “Long Guy Land.”
The whole lurid affair is being turned into a new HBO soap The Hurricanes.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who was a great-great-great-great-grandson of Poseidon, actually had a pet hurricane named Windy he received from his ancestor when he was Secretary of the Navy. He kept it in a swimming pool at his residences and transported it in a special truck as needed. Windy was usually just a few feet hall and made the pool something like a jacuzzi, but when he took her out to play she could sink a Japanese aircraft carrier.
Windy’s favorite activities including peeking out from under a stairway, calling a name that’s lighter than air, bending down to give me a rainbow, tripping down the streets of the city, smiling at everybody she sees, reaching out to capture a moment, having her stormy eyes flash at the sound of lies, and having wings to fly above the clouds.
Most jurisdictions today require special variances to keep naiads, nereids, or any other kind of water sprite on a residential property.