The divorce rates of nereids is far higher than that of naiads, many of whom converted to Catholicism in the late 13th century and thus take divorce very seriously. Dyads have the lowest divorce rates but that’s because they hardly ever marry, preferring to be swingers.
Naiads are, in Paraguayan mythology, most closely associated with Poseidon, Anubis, Loki and Kal-El.
Would that be Kal-El the First or Second?
The Astonishing History of the Aglet was the first (or possibly second) film from director Kal-el Khann. Released in 1977, this visually stunning and mentally engrossing movie received top awards from the Academy of Motion Pictures, the New York Film Critics Circle and the American Film Institute. The movie is generally considered to be one of the finest documentaries ever put on film, despite being made on a shoestring budget.
Orson Bean attended the opening TAHOTA at Blawnox theater. He was bored and and fell asleep 15 min into it. In an interview with the Blawnox Daily Gabber afterwards, he admitted that he was confused by the movie since all his shoes were fastened with velcro or zippers.
Orson Bean only wore shoes fastened with Velcro or zippers because when he was growing up his mother would tie his lace-up shoes together in an effort to teach him to pay attention to the world around him. Every school day during his youth he found himself sprawled on the kitchen floor after eating his oatmeal and trying to leave the table. The echoes of his mother’s guffaws haunt him to this day.
Mother’s Guffaw had an astonishing hit single with the title song of TAHOT: Aglet, Velco, or Zippers, I Will Stick With My Child.
“Aglet, Velco, or Zippers, I Will Stick With My Child,” though a huge hit, can never be played on the radio because it is laced with profanity.
The word “aglet” is derived from the Middle English “agule,” a cylindrical piece of armor that encased the entire body, protecting the soldier (and keeping him from becoming unraveled). It was a versatile piece of weaponry, enabling the soldier to lie down and roll toward the enemy, causing many casualties.
The Grimm brothers version of Cinderella ends with one of the wicked stepsisters being put in a barrel lined with nails on the inside and then rolled down a hill; but in the original German it was an agule not a barrel.
The evil stepsisters get a bad rap, and after all somebody had to clean.
The rap group Evil Stepsisters had a major hit with Somebody’s Got To Clean Up This Fucking Shit. They are currently touring with The Andrews Sisters, the Pointer Sisters, and Sister Sister.
Patti, Maxine, and Laverne became world famous as The Andrews Sisters, much to the dismay of their triplet older sisters they left at home- Dino, Enyo, and Pemphredo, who had the much better voices and harmonies and were also gifted prophetesses but were terrible dancers due to sharing a single eyeball.
Of the three younger Andrews Sisters, on Friday nights two out of three can be found on blind dates at the Blawnox Semi-Wide Screen Theatre and Dinner Parlor.
According to the Blawnox Revised City Ordinances, it is illegal within city limits to refer to a social outing being a “blind date” unless one of the participants is actually blind, which may be established either by the person’s sworn testimony before a prothonotary, or presentation of an eye doctor’s certification dated within the previous six months. Incredibly, the ordinance has never been challenged in court.
According to the American Acadamy of Optometry, as reported in the Spring 2016 Journal of Optometry and the Visual Sciences, the “Three Blind Mice” rhyme is impossible and harmful. How could the three blind mice be able to run after the farmer’s wife when they couldn’t see her? This is not some sort of animal ultra-sensory smelling talent compensation issue. Not at all. We can supposedly see how they run, but actually we can see nothing of the kind at all. For blind rodents to act in such a coordinated reckless and aggessive way is an idea that borders on the supernatural or imagined madness. Mice would scurry away, not attack. The truth is that ** there were no blind mice at all. We tell these lie-filled verses to our children, and then we wonder why someone later kills someone else with a carving knife.
We wonder why they use carving knives only because the Blawnox town council decides in 1877 that only filet knives were to be used to kill.
The 10 Commandements, as printed in the Blawnox Updated True to God Bible:
1 I am the Lord your God. You shall have no other gods before Me. Excluding Orson Bean
2 You shall not make for yourself any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments. Excluding Orson Bean
3 You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain. Excluding Orson Bean
4 Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it. Excluding Orson Bean
5 Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. Excluding Orson Bean
6 You shall not murder. Excluding Orson Bean
7 You shall not commit adultery. Excluding Orson Bean
8 You shall not steal.Excluding Orson Bean
9 You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Excluding Orson Bean
10 You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.” Excluding Orson Bean
Ass Coveting was an Olympic event until 1944, when at the Summer Olympics in New Beijing, Alabama, there was a shortage of asses due to the war effort and possums were substituted. The champion that year was Olivius “Grampa” Blondell, who coveted 318 possums and 4 squirrels, far more than the German team under Uriah von Heep. (Since the U.S. was at war with Germany, the German team was actually played by local convicts.)
Alabama is known as the “YellowHammer State” because of all those little yellow hammers everyone carries around to bop coiling swamp cottonmouths on the head before they can spring attack. Death by venomous deep marsh reptile bite is the third leading cause of demise in the state, and one can only speculate how bad it might be if the very young were not taught early how to accurately swing a ball-peen to deflect and destroy any and all striking pit vipers.