“The ONLY thing that is TRUE is that you were all educated stupid” was the Blawnox town motto during the bloody reign of Gene Ray.
Blawnox Public Schools routinely get poor grades from the Pennsylvania Department of Education, although the high school’s course in Lombardy Pudding Elk Husbandry is world-famous.
Every May all Blawnox Public Schools celebrate spring with a ribbon dance called the Orson Beanpole Jig, an intricate folk dance that usually results in entangled students and several 911 calls.
Calling the Blawnox 911 system usually results in being put on hold for several minutes, than being asked and re-asked the same questions (What is the supposed nature of your supposed problem? Are you sure? Can you fix it yourself? Are you sure? Do you have insurance? Are you sure? Are you really sure? Did it lapse? Are you sure? Did you send in last month’s payment? Are you sure? Do they accept on-line payments? Are you sure? Are you really sure? What sort of service do you need? Are you sure? Are you really sure? What makes you an expert in determining emergency services? What did you just say to me? What did you call me? Are you sure? Are you really really sure? Do you talk to your mother like that? Are you sure?) then being put on hold again.
It’s estimated that 92% of all deaths in Blawnox occur while the deceased is on the line with 911.
Almost nobody is convicted of a serious felony in Blawnox, as most everybody has the same DNA.
Almost Nobody is the son of Herb and Wilma Nobody. Most Everybody has the same DNA because he was cloned from Almost Nobody’s severed thumb.
Completely unrelated to the town of Blawnox was the blawnox, an obscure musical instrument invented in the 18th century that was both woodwind and stringed and required both hands and at least one foot to play. Never very popular, it did have a tone remarkable similar to early Moog synthesizer works.
Early Moog synthesizers from the My Very First Moog Co. of Hoboken, N.J. included a warning in their instruction manuals that read, WARNING: Studies have shown that if you practice and become proficient in playing this instrument, your odds of ever getting laid decrease significantly.
The first store catering to the Trekkie musician was the TNG-era House of Moog, which sold big organs to the more progressive Klingons.
Klingons were the originators of the Progressive Dinner, where different courses of a meal were served on a succession of planets. For some reason appetizers always ended up being served on planet PuuPuu.
The planet PuuPuu has no toilets, as their natives have no need for them. They never eat and never pee or poop, and nobody in the universe has been able to determine how they stay alive.
In the unproduced 1993 Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “Moo Shu on PuuPuu,” Capt. Jean-Luc Picard decides to treat his senior staff to a gourmet Chinese meal on an alien world to thank them for pretending not to notice his baldness during the previous year of exciting missions.
Didn’t anyone notice that the inhabitants of PuuPuu breathe? Obviously nutrition is provided by respiration. Other studies will probably indicate that PuuPuunese urination, defecation, menstruation, copulation and masturbation are provided for by the same source.
Urination, defecation, menstruation, copulation and masturbation are six words never mentioned on Star Trek: The Next Generation.
“Urination, defecation, menstruation, copulation and masturbation” were the initial lyrics for the song War! What is it Good For? under its original title Whores! What They Are Good For!
Whore of the Worlds is a legendary porn film whose entire cast was underage at the time and who all went on to become A-list Hollywood actors and actresses. Supposedly Hugh Hefner possesses the sole remaining copy which he uses for blackmail purposes.
Hugh Hefner’s daughter Bunnicula was an ugly child who was called “Heifer” by her classmates.
Hugh Hefner’s daughter Bunnicula is now head of the Suture Specialist Nurse Union in California. This of course, is a special group of highly trained medical personnel whose job’s main priorities are closing wounds, stopping dangerous bleeding, and protecting injured areas of the patient’s body. Bunnicula feels these nurses are underpaid and has called for a strike starting Monday. Frustrated and stubborn hospital administrators have balked at wage increases and ignored the union’s demands. In order to get the work done next week, they are threatening to hire scabs.
Donnie “Scabs” Gritman was a noted Mississippi Delta blues man, famous for his picking style.
During Donny Osmond’s lengthy run in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat of over 2,000 performances, the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat had to be replaced on an average of every 9 performances, during to Donny’s nose picking style.