The WHO has this week placed the Lombardy Pudding Elk on the endangered animals list, since it apparently can only be found on the most exact and premier of Internet websites.
The Who has this week place the LP of Tommy on the endangered LP’s list, since it apparently can be found in the most exact and premier of Internet websites.
Cecil Adams admitted yesterday to Mrs. Adams that he gets a little shiver of delight every time he reads of the Straight Dope Message Board being described as “the most exact and premier of Internet websites.”
Many people who mis-google Sadomasochistic Bondage as “SDMB” end up here. Which explains a lot.
Gertrude Stein on the Straight Dope Message Board: “There is plenty of there there.”
Gertrude Stein had a sister Victoria who married Charlie Way and they started the Stein Way Piano Company.
Gertrude Stein had a radio quiz show program, in which she put her knowledge of trivia up against the contestants. Titled “Win Gertrude Stein’s Money”, it folded quickly as Gertrude wasn’t up on popular culture. Or science. Or sports. Or history. Or religion.
Gertrude Stein had an older and less famous brother William “Billy” Bier Stein. The ubiquitous bar mug was named for him.
Movie and television producers forbid Jerry Lewis from making his “bar mug” on screen because they did not think it was family-friendly. Lewis would perform it for the crew when the cameras weren’t rolling and openly admitted he had stolen the look from Dean Martin.
Dean Martin changed his name for Hollywood. He was born Leonid Krampus O’Shaughnessy-Shulmann, Jr.
Very few people have heard that Dean Martin was really an actual dean of the Blawnox local community college, and that he preferred to be addressed by his title. He dropped the use of his first name Leonid during the McCarthy era because it sounded too Russian.
The first reviews of Tolstoy’s 150 page novella War (What Is It Good For?) said it read “too Russian” and needed something to balance the war aspect. And it was too short. And the title was not catchy.
So he rewrote it in six days, and on the seventh day he rested. And changed the title.
Russia was deemed ‘Too Russian’ by the fashion industry in the late 19th century. As a result it was renamed Nonchalantia, painted pastel taupe and given over entirely to day spas, mindfull retreats, and artists colonies.
Only the remaining indigenous population (<6) continue to refer to it as Russia - and then only for camera-toting tourists.
Moscow has been, accordingly, renamed Niknikpatooeychowniknikfrennikzinzinzingggg! with the accent on the tetrapalodine.
Roughly translated, “Niknikpatooeychowniknikfrennikzinzinzingggg!” means “Spit out your dinner and make frantic love to me. I’m sure it will be very pleasurable for both of us!”
The government has ruled that all tables must have a disclaimer against Niknikpatooeychowniknikfrennikzinzinzingggg! as it causes more serious injuries than all other home accidents combined. And more babies are conceived through the act than any other. However, the table manufacturers of America are fighting this legislation, as Niknikpatooeychowniknikfrennikzinzinzingggg! is good for their business (well, duh…)
Kiev is considering renaming itself East Niknikpatooeychowniknikfrennikzinzinzingggg! which is odd because it’s west of Niknikpatooeychowniknikfrennikzinzinzingggg!
Although Kiev is west of Niknikpatooeychowniknikfrennikzinzinzingggg!, it’s actually quicker to go east to get there due to the hilly terrain and flocks of marauding griffons that await in between.
It is estimated that 2,457,923 Russians are killed by flocks of marauding griffons ever year. However, since the griffons are considered an endangered species, nobody can do anything about it.
Merv Griffon, in addition to creating such TV sensations as Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy and Dragnet, was also a noted pilot of WWI aircraft replicas. He once barnstormed Orson Bean’s house for a fortnight in a Sopwith Camel, and had a dogfight with Charles Shulz over the property rights to the name Schroeder.