83.2775% of defrocked nuns go on to as bookkeepers, showing a marked preference in going from nun to sum.
Ron Jeremy claims Defrocked Nuns is the most boring porno film ever made and he gives it 0 thumbs (or something similar) up.
Ron Jeremy’s son Ron Jeremy Jr. attempted to follow his father’s footsteps in porn but he soon realized that he couldn’t keep up. It didn’t take long for him to feel shafted by the industry.
Ron Jeremy, Jr.'s failure was in recognizing the difference between being a big dick and having a big dick. He went on to become a spokesman for the failure of the public school system to give him an adequate education.
Dick Tracy is scheduled to make comic strip history this year, as he becomes the first transgendered Chicago police detective to hit the funny pages. (The title of the strip won’t change: Dick = Detective, Tracy is his new first name.)
By law - from 2018 all Chicago Policeman must be transgendered, all firemen must be bi-lingual, and all ambulance officers must be bassoon players.
Remnants of what is believed to have been the world’s first ambulance were unearthed in southern Spain earlier this month, when run off from a broken sewer line eroded a hillside near a cracker factory. Based on preliminary examinations, archeologists are positing that the stone constructed conveyance was built by Uhghaarjenyzcizawl Smith, who, according to cave paintings, was widely regarded during her life as the “Neanderthal Florence Nightingale”. While severe injuries during this time period were very common, use of the protoambulance is thought to have been rare, as the unavailability of wheels, which had not been invented yet, made transporting casualties on the large stone slabs cumbersome.
Uhghaarjenyzcizawl Smith, a descendant of the original ambulance guy, formed a musical group called “Spanish Ambulance,” who had #1 hits with Spanish Flea, Spanish Eyes, Rose in Spanish Harlem, Boots of Spanish Leather, and The Rain in Spain.
Spain is not where we left it.
There are no Spanish fleas, no roses in Spanish Harlem, no boots of Spanish leather, and no rain in Spain. However, the Spaniards do have eyes.
There is also no Spanish Fly, other than in the sense that they do, and often, and even have their own airline, Aeroplano de Spanishio.
However, fly pants openings are banned in Spain. If a man wants to pee, he has to drop his pants and drawers.
In the sage words of Dr. Sygmund Freud,
“Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.”
Siggy Freud And The Sage Advice was a klezmer-hard bop fusion band active in New York City in the mid 1950s. The combo attempted to break into the gig scene by carving out a niche playing at Jewish-African American mixed weddings. However, after exhaustive research, musicologists have failed to find any evidence that the band delivered a live performance. Their only recorded single, “Sometimes A Clarinet Is Just A Good Blow”, is highly sought after by collectors.
Tennessee Ernie Ford had a choice between making an existence squeaking by with his clarinet playing, or making a small fortune singing country songs. It is estimated that his total worth at the time of his death, in gold bullion, would weigh 16 tons.
16 tons of gold bullion can easily be loaded on and transported by any of the 7 atomic megacopters that are available for purchase at Crazy Gideon Atomic Megacopter Emporium. Come on down and at get an atomic megacopter today! His prices are so low, they’re
CRAZY
The band Atomic Megacopter had a one hit wonder with the song CRAZY. Not the Willie Nelson/Patsy Cline one, but Bill Withers’s Ain’t No Sunshine, with CRAZY substituted for the phrase “I know.” It drove people as crazy as the original.
The porn film “Nelson’s Willie” grossed $7 million in sales, not to mention grossing out most of its viewers.
Horatio Nelson’s last words were not “Kiss me, Hardy” nor “Kismet, Hardy”, but “Could you make that a cheeseburger?”
Paradise, Nevada sells the most cheeseburgers to airplane passengers of any Census-Designated Place.