The ending of The Straight Dope Message Board Review was the real show stopper with the homage to Miss Saigon but featuring a 1920s-style death ray.
And after the curtain call came the reprise of Rio by Duran Duran, which lead to another curtain call and another reprise of Rio by Duran Duran, which lead to another curtain call and another reprise of Rio by Duran Duran, which lead to another curtain call and another reprise of Rio by Duran Duran, which lead to another curtain call and another reprise of Rio by Duran Duran, which lead to another curtain call and another reprise of Rio by Duran Duran…
I can hardly wait for the sequel The Straight Dope Message Board Celebrates Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day is against the law in Trinidad, and the Royal Trinidadian Constabulary has a standing shoot-to-kill order if Bill Murray ever visits the island.
Bill Murray’s barber’s wife’s younger sister’s boyfriend’s dentist once asked Jennifer Lopez’s agent’s mother’s eldest brother’s business partner’s aunt on a date. She turned him down flat.
This just in: Royal Trinidadian Constabulary’s standing shoot-to-kill order has been extended to include Andy Karl, star of the West End and Broadway productions of Groundhog Day the musical. But not before scoring some free tickets to both productions. And asking Bill Murray’s barber’s wife’s younger sister’s boyfriend’s dentist and/or Jennifer Lopez’s agent’s mother’s eldest brother’s business partner’s aunt on a date for either or both productions.
Jennifer Aniston’s second cousin’s hairdresser’s baby brother’s optician’s girlfriend’s BFF’s role model is Jennifer Aniston.
Jennifer Aniston is bald and wears a wig. She divorced Brad Pitt after he said “I’ve got prettier hair than you do” one too many times.
Meerkats are the only animal besides humans that practice legal divorce.
Meerkats also have invented cold fusion, squared the circle, calculated pi to the last digit and found merit in Donald Trump as a national leader.
Chuck Norris is a meerkat.
Chuck Norris claims that his resemblance to a meerkat is purely coincidental, as his mother was a hamster and his father was a mongoose (to whom Chuckie attributes his speed).
A crossbreed hybrid of a mongoose father (mon-) and a hamster mother (-ster) is a monster. Reversing the genders gives you a hamgoose.
Hamster mothers are limited to having only one litter of monsters, due to the explosive nature of the births.
Hamster Motherhood was a glossy magazine which lasted only three issues before folding in June 1977 due to lack of sales. A later Harvard Business Review study pointed to the illiteracy of the vast majority of hamsters, their lack of ready cash and their utter indifference to advertising as key factors in the magazine venture’s failure.
On the other hand, the porn magazine Hamster Booty and the Gooey Kablooie is quite popular with the mongoose demographic.
The plural of mongoose is somegoose
A Gøøse once bit my sister… No realli!
The identity of Mother Goose is a matter of some debate. Olaf Olafssen contends she was Alma Goos, from Oslo, whereas Ivan Ivanovich Ivansky demands that she was Alma Gjoske, from Kiev, whereas Orson Bean is of the impression she was Mabel Goose from Tuscaloosa, and Oprah Winfrey wishes they’d all just shut the freak up.
“Renaissance Woman” Oprah Winfrey was born in a log cabin she helped her father build.
Log Cabin syrup is not actually a syrup. It is a sweet liquefied nectar gel.