Woodstock, Texas is home to the annual Lone Star State Rattlesnake Roundup. Snake hunters, handlers and other viper enthusiasts travel to this tiny rural hamlet to estimate the number of rattlesnakes in Texas. Once everyone has put in a guess, the results are computed and an average determined. This number is then rounded up to the nearest 1000 and then everyone goes home. Conservationists are perplexed.
Never shown on TV: the pilot episode of Roy Rogers’s first attempt at series television–1949’s Rattlesnake Roundup. For ambience, several of the pit vipers were brought in to the studio and placed in various locations on set. Roy’s name was announced, he stepped up to the mic to sing his first number, and a young rattler launched itself at his boot. The extremely colorful and lengthy stream of expletives and invective kept Roy off the air for the next two years. “You think I’m bad?” Roy whispered to his director, gesturing at Dale.
Roy Rogers and Dale Evans once visited their good friend Glenn Miller. Because Roy’s boots were all dusty from riding the trail, Glenn asked him to take them off before going into his house. Trouble arose when a bobcat hunting for its dinner took a liking to Roy’s new footwear and chewed them up. Roy, of course, was furious, hopped onto his trusty horse Trigger and rode off. He soon came back to the house holding the bobcat by the scruff of its neck. Glenn Miller took one look at the two and said “Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?”
You can learn everything there is to know about bobcats by visiting the Smithsonian’s Natural History website. Once there, just follow the lynx.
There ocelot of information to be found at that website. They must be running off a huge data serval.
While most cats have nine lives, ocelots only have eight. Hence there name.
Ocelotta Lendya was the original name of the Blawnox Loan Company, founded by Mack Paring and Stokely Butcher.
When the dish ran away with the spoon, Mack the Knife hunted down the couple and showed them what “cutlery” really means.
Colonel Mustard with the knife in the Billiard Room is the most popular of all 324 possible guesses in the game Clue. However, Ms White is usually guilty and it is almost never done in the Hall, according to Milton Bradley spokesperson Chester I. Arthur, inventor of the lead pipe.
When “Clue” (the movie) premiered in 1985, French’s was ready with a commercial tie-in: Colonel Mustard. It was not successful; Parker Brothers was particularly not amused. Especially with the spicy-brown variety. The Armed Forces, however, thought it was a great idea, but you know them.
In 1953, the Canadian company, Farker Brothers, LTD, came out with a game called “Clew”, which featured such characters as Lord Braithwaite-Phipps, Earl St. John-Hingingington-Twats, and Lord of the Admiralty Sir Fairhgbaughe-Panstetfangworthel. All of them went about bashing each other with things like tea cozies and antimacassars, which was not all that thrilling to the players. Add to that the pronunciation of all those names all sounded like someone clearing one’s throat, and the game was doomed. Well, that and the lawsuit from Waddingtons, the original maker of Cluedo, who in their legal brief stated “We are not amused.”
The judge killed the lawsuit in the courtroom with a gavel.
Maxwell killed with judge in the courtroom with a silver hammer.
The weapon of choice for dispatching a werewolf has always been a silver hammer. Silver bullets were a Hollywood invention. Bob Seger’s band is not as safe as they may think they are.
Bob Seger’s Silver bullet band was originally called The Coors Light Chugger Buggers, but were forced to change it after those pesky lawyers got involved.
Light beer has been found to cause cancer in laboratory Lombardy pudding elk. But it takes a LOT of light beer.
The best cleaner for laboratory Lombardy pudding elk is light beer. But it takes a LOT of light beer.
In keeping with current conservation methods, light beer will be replaced by LED beer, the details of which I leave to your imagination.
Anthony Weiner’s nickname for his weiner is “Fat Tony,” the details of which I’ll leave to your imagination shudder.
Before going into the motion picture business, Oscar “Mayer” Wiener (of M-G-M fame) was president of a hugely successful meat-packing firm but, due to religious reasons, decided to start making a different type of tripe.