“Philistine Comix #2,” is a highly sought after collector’s item. It updates the story of Samson in super-hero terms, e.g., Samson is rendered helpless not from getting his hair cut, but by Delilah exposing him to Samsonite, an element from his home planet of Sootkayce. Lawsuit threats from the Siegel and Shuster camp assured there would be no “PC #3.”
Showboating solicitor Shuster Siegel sued Sampson Sootkayce, stating softly she sounded so Shylockian.
Amplified alliteration has been found to cause chronic cancer in laboratory lats, uh, rats.
A seventeen year study by scientists at the University of Little Rock has conclusively linked the development of highway potholes with the high population of rats in the Southern United States. Extermination of these pests could save these states’ taxpayers millions of dollars annually in transportation maintenance funding. No rats, no road dents.
The money that could be used for the no rats, no road dents is being used to fund shelter for amphibians that are inexplicably drowning in rainstorms by providing toad tents
The name of the amphibian service is Toad Away, LLP. It used to be known as Rana Way, but the CFO absconded with the funds.
Though toads will not give you warts, some enterprising frogs will sell you some for the right price.
The first captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise was Captain James Tiberius Toad (of Toad Hall). His first mate was Ratty. Capt. Toad managed to seriously damage the ship within a half hour of leaving port on its maiden journey. He was summarily replaced by Capt. Orson Bean.
James Tiberius Toad and Ratty would later star in the entire 12 1/2 Broadway run of the musical adaption of Frog & Toad
Frog & Toad: The Next Generation, starring Courtney Love as Frog and the late Sir Laurence Olivier as Toad, was cancelled after just three episodes on UPN.
But Netflix has already picked it up for four more seasons. Oh, wait, it’s cancelled again. Never mind.
Sheldon Cooper wrote very strongly worded letters to both UPN and Netflix about their treatment of Frog and Toad: The Next Generation. He loved the character of Newt Grinrich, voiced by Jim Parsons.
Vice-president of programming at Netflix, Lilly Padd, has stated she and her network are kermitted to pond-based television despite the low numbers of amphibians in the current Netflix line-up. Padd points to *Kulipari *as an example of this stance. However pro-tarn advocates say a cartoon hardly counts. Furthermore, *Kulipari *is voiced by Chester J. Arthur, who is not popular with the salamander crowd for his supposed contributions to marsh discordance back in the seventies.
Chester Jacqueline Arthur, semi-noted Hollywood actor and great-great-grandson of the late President Chester Alan Arthur, has voiced characters in such direct-to-video movies as Kulipari, Lukipari, Pariluki, Lupikari, Arilpuik, Ikulupi and Blawnox Salamanders Gone Wild.
Critics of the Kulipari show say that it remains on Netflix only because Lilly Padd’s son Tad thinks the show is “toadally awesome.” When asked to comment, Lilly seemed tongue tied.
Tad Padd criticized our beloved President on Facebook. NSA special forces have subdued him and sent him to Detroit.
According to 2017 U.S. Census projections, Detroit has a population of 140,003 people, 1,270,477 rats and 1 feral horned toad.
Linguists are still scratching their heads over the way the Native Americans of lower Michigan managed to acquire and then corrupt the word, “detritus,” into, “Detroit,” 1500 years before Europeans set foot on the North American continent.
According to 2017 U.S. Department of Commerce tourism projections, far fewer Europeans will visit Detroit this year than will go to New York City, L.A. or Blawnox.
“No! Not Detroit” is the number 1 google search phrase relating to tourism.