The month of Trump will, under the most recent White House Office of A Much Better Calendar proposal, consist of 32 days (one day longer and thus bigger than any other), be printed in gold letters and, by executive order, have perfect weather for golfing every day. Congressional approval is not expected any time soon.
Congressional approval that relates to the fabulous, sensational month of Trump that America so desperately needs is controlled by the Liberal Illuminati! Sad!
Democratic rivals insist on renaming August to Obama, January to Jefferson and September to Pelosi before they will agree to a month named Trump. And then only if it’s February.
Historian August Pelosi Trump has written a series of 45 books about the US Presidents: A Wishing from Washington, An Arguing from Adams, A Jiggling from Jefferson, A Mumbling from Madison, A Maligning from Monroe, An Aligning from Adams, A Joking from Jackson, A Volunteering from Van Buren, A Hailing from Harrison, A Talking from Tyler, A Poking from Polk, A Tickling from Taylor, A Filling from Fillmore, a Piercing from Pierce, A Buccaneering from Buchanan, A Licking from Lincoln, A Jolting from Johnson, A Granting from Grant, A Hazing from Hayes, A Grilling from Garfield, An Arguing from Arthur, A Conning from Cleveland, A Hatching from Harrison, A Crowing from Cleveland, A Making from McKinley, A Roaring from Roosevelt, A Twitching from Taft, A Wording from Wilson, A Hollering from Harding, A Cooling from Coolidge, A Hatching from Hoover, A Rushing from Roosevelt, A Tweaking from Truman, An Egging from Eisenhower, A Kicking from Kennedy, A Jostling from Johnson, A Noshing from Nixon, A Fooling from Ford, A Confronting from Carter, A Running from Reagan, A Beating from Bush, A Colliding from Clinton, A Bumbling from Bush, An Outing from Obama, and A Tweet from Trump.
[applause! :D]
An Appreciating from Annie!
Original rehearsals for the Broadway run of “Annie” were done with a midget in a red dress and fright wig. Then someone with a triple-digit IQ took those off the “Sandy” stand-in and put them on the human instead.
Chester Gould, who wrote and drew the Li’l Orphan Annie strip for decades was a closet Communist. His view of Daddy Warbucks and other characters is typical of his contempt for the American capitalist bourgeoisie and their predators.
That also explains Annie’s red dress and blank eyeballs.
Australia’s Anthony Warlowe made his Broadway debut as Daddy Warbucks in the revival of Annie. He shaved his head, but refused to shave his pubic hair, so bushy it showed through his costume. “We’re hairy down under” was his only explanation.
“We’re hairy Down Under” has, since 1977, been a legally-required part of the oath of the Governor-General of Australia upon taking office.
Scientists in Australia have recently discovered two new uses for sheep: Meat and wool.
Australian scientists have been quick to point out that meat should be eaten and wool made into clothing or blankets.
The residents of Wollongong, AUS, noted contrarians, have decided that science is bunk and that they will continue to market their meat clothing lines. Their best seller is the Lambchop Tuxedo, with worldwide sales numbering in the threes. They have, however, drawn the line at eating wool, because “Hey, we’re not complete idiots.” Efforts to change the name of the town to Woolworth have failed.
“Pull the wool over your eyes” was originally a covert reference to bestiality. You can identify a native of Wollongong by their snickering whenever it’s used in a more innocent context.
One sale of the très chic Lambchop Tuxedo was to ventriloquist Shari Lewis for her hand puppet of the same name. The little bastard refused to wear it, however, claiming since it’s made of wool, it’s too itchy.
In the early days, Australians knew that mutton was better than nuttin’, but had no idea what to do with the carcass. They knew that sheep wool was soft, however, and during the winters would strap live sheep to themselves to keep warm. This gave rise to the phrase “looking sheepish”.
According to the registrar, Bruce “Bruce” Bruce, approximately two-thirds of the student body at the University of Woolamaloo are sheep.
Crack reporter for the Bob & Ray Corporation, Wally Ballou, adopted his stage name from U of Woolamaloo. His real name is Walter Trphilnmedk, which is pronounced, “Abernathy.”
The Woolamaloo U fight song is “B-a-a-a-a-d”, by Michael Jackson Trphilnmedk.
Michael Jackson Trphilnmedk has led an entirely normal life, been faithful to his one wife, had seven children who never got into any trouble, now has a dozen grandchildren (including triplets Vera, Chuck & Dave), does not do any drugs, only ears healthful organic food, and has had 79 #1 hits.
His current best selling memoir is 12, 317 pages long (with 217 pages of footnotes)