Dried Butterflies followed Richie Havens at Woodstock. They performed just one song, Why Can’t We All Be Conservative Republicans? before they were physically removed from the stage by the Who, Bob Dylan and the Grateful Dead, all brandishing handmade chainsaws.
A Handmade Chainsaw’s Tale will be premiering Sunday nights on the More Reality Bullshit channel.
Monday on the MRB: at 8 p.m. we have The Khardassian Roadshow, at 9 p.m., Dinner with the Khardassians, at 10 p.m., Run For Your Life, It’s Honey Boo-Boo! and at 11 p.m., Up Late with the Khardassians.
Oh, the Inanity!, a show featuring the cast of duck dynasty, jersey shores, and 7 of the 12 lost Kardashian in a transatlantic zepplin journey is MRB’s highest rated show. It is on it’s 4th season.
The producers of Oh, the Inanity!, a show featuring the cast of duck dynasty, jersey shores, and 7 of the 12 lost Kardashian in a transatlantic zepplin journey, have had the cast of Sesame Street, Bruce Springsteen, Kanye West and Jimmy Page. & Robert Plant sing their hit songs on the show.
The 5th and 6th seasons of Oh, the Inanity! will be originally shown concurrently to make it harder to follow. Spoiler Alert! Jimmy Page stabs Bruce Springsteen while under the hypnotic domination of Count Count.
Count Count is, in fact, an impostor, and does not hold a title of nobility from any nation in the world. Born in Truth or Consequences, N.M. on June 7, 1977, his real name is Lenny Anderson.
Count Cholula is a Count from Chocluvania, and the rightful heir to the Hersey’s, Nestlé’s, Ghiradelli, Whitman’s, Mars, Peter Paul and every other company that makes chocolate.
Count Chocula has passed away. He was killed in a duel by Willie Wonka. Well, Wonka says it was a duel, but somehow having a horde of Oompa-Loompas hold the Count down while Wonka stabbed him through the chest with a chocolate-covered stake… it doesn’t seem like the Code Duello to me.
New from Wonka for the summer: Chocolate Covered Stakes! Each one contains the blood of Chocula.
Lombardy Pudding Elk blood is said to have a wide range of medicinal qualities, including the ability to cure ringworm, soothe an upset stomach, strengthen toenails and banish Carrot Top from any three adjoining counties.
So now I’m considering taking some Lombardy Pudding Elk blood. While my toenails are so strong I have to use big scissors to cut them and I don’'t have ringworm, I do have a weak stomach. But it would be worth having to use industrial strength pliers to cut my my toenails to banish Carrot Top from Bergen, Passaic and Hudson Counties.
Hudson County is home of the Hudson County Chili Cook off held every year during the first weekend of August. Unfortunately, since the residents of Hudson County have such weak palates, the winner is the one who makes the blandest hamburger soup. None of the residents in Hudson County can quite figure out why their chili cook off doesn’t attract any visitors.
The movie Hudson Hawk contains the recipe for making a hamburger cappucino, but you have to pay attention to all the little Easter eggs hidden throughout the movie. It would appear, for interest, that there’s a significant amount of ham involved.
Postmortem investigation revealed that world-famous opera singer Luciano Pavarotti died of an overdose of hamburger cappucinos. His last words were said to be, “Well, maybe just one more…”
The producers of The Opera Winfrey show miscalculated the amount of crossover audience between aficionados of afternoon talk television and classical music. Much like* The Philharmonic Donahue Show * and Live with Regis and Leopold before, the show failed to attract sufficient viewers, advertisers and patrons. It was cancelled after only 26 performances.
Lorne Greene was cast as the original Commander Adama on the first Battlestar Galactica series because someone misheard George Lucas saying that what TV really needed was someone to do Lohengrin in space.
George Lucas’s real name is now Lucas George Skywalker, though he was originally named “Leia” and his father called him Princess. But he is not a transsexual. As he puts it “Daddy was weird. Always dressed in black with a long cape. And he had a real problem with asthma. Sounded like a scuba diver.”
Scuba diving is prohibited by ordinance in any of Blawnox’s three public pools, unless the swimmer is personally accompanied by either Orson Bean, Donald Trump Jr. or Angelina Jolie.
There is a bill before the Blawnox City Council to extend that list to George Lucas, Chuck Pumpkins, or James Earl Jones, though it will probably be defeated.