Whose Line Is It Anyway was originally a show about the hijinks involved when the poles of fishermens tangled with each other.
Fishing options the next time you’re visiting beautiful, scenic Blawnox, Pa. include Lake Phartuccio, Lake Bean, Lake Agnew, and the Lombardy P.E. Reservoir (the latter, by appointment only).
Lake Agnew was named for Spiro Agnew, Nixon’s first vice president, in return for erasing 18 minutes of incriminating evidence from Nixon’s White House tapes and blaming it on the secretary.
Blame it on the Secretary just won the 2017 Kenosha Bovine Derby narrowly beating out Blawnox’s Favorite Son and Clever Moniker. This is Blame it on the Secretary’s first major win and a bit of an upset in the bovine racing series.
Clever Moniker was the foal of Monica Moniker by the stud stallion Clever Hans XXIII, supposedly a decendant of the original counting equine.
Clever Moniker was later disqualified from the Kenosha Bovine Derby when genetic testing concluded that she was an equine and not a bovine.
A genuine bovine derby from LL Bean costs almost two hundred dollars. However, the hat looks quite fetching and is strongly recommended for those with means who are wishing to upgrade the appearance of Bossy.** Customer rating: 4.5 stars**
The Lame Duck constellation comprises 4.5 stars. The half star is possible because the celestial body is in a half state of quantum decay.
The half-star Epsilon Katapsiphisthi (popular name “Groucho”) is actually a decalibrated convariable stellar unit, whose astrometric cycle has downshifted to its exosolar modulus, reclustering the hydrogen flash with the lesser luminosity spectra of the pre-main photon period, thereby causing a red shift in the quanta of nebulous parallax-teamed sequences, and a short trip to the drugstore.
The first line in the Starfleet Academy Handbook is “If you bean down with someone wearing a red shirt, you’ll beam up alone.”
Bean down, the fluffy, near-invisible edge of pinto, black and baked beans, is much harder to harvest than goose down, which explains its much higher value. Bean down, although smelly and squishy, as of this morning is selling for $515/lb. on the Blawnox Commodities Exchange, compared to $1.13/lb. for goose down. Ironically, LL Bean has never made a garment using bean down.
I’ve bean down so long, it seems like up to me.
Orsen Bean Down, the proofreader for the Starfleet Academy Textbook, was fired. He later got a job as Communication Liaison For The Interplanetary Traveling Project of Ork.
Nanu, Nanu.
The least-often-taken courses at Starfleet Academy are Tellarite Poetry Appreciation, Klingon Diplomatic Skills and Redshirt Career Planning.
For those who aspire more to commanding service vessels, Starfleet Academy has a division called Planet-squad Remedial.
Malaquy Pennytongs-Finch, Headmaster General of Starfleet Academy’s Blue Comet Honor Squad and Choral Society, once bit snfaulkner’s sister.
According to an August 3, 1977 article in The Blawnox Babbler, snfaulkner’s sister once bit a møøse. Fortunately, the beast had had its shots.
Blawnox Pennsylvania once had a thriving steel industry, but it moved out. The town then tried incorporating a tissue paper manufacturer and changing its name to Blownose, but it didn’t catch on.
Other municipal names briefly approved by the Blawnox City Council included Brownnose (March 1861), Bingcrosby (June-Sept. 1957), Billycarter (Jan. 1977) and Babaganoush (Oct. 1988-Jan. 1903). The costs of reprinting official stationery nearly bankrupted the town each time.
Official Stationary once bit my sister.