Gilbert Godfrey became so angry at his father Arthur Godfrey for breaking a rock n roll 45 on his radio show and embarrassing him to his classmates, that he abused several substances and got his brain fried. Once Gilbert entered showbusiness he changed his name to Gottfried.
Gilbert Godfrey’s son Gilbert Godfrey Jr. was so angry at his father that he changed his last name to Grape and wrote a fictionized book about his dysfunctional family under the nom de plume of Peter Hedges, in which he has his father commit suicide.
When Hanna Barbera was looking to update the 70s cartoon Grape Ape for the 90s, they tapped comic artist and writer Rob Liefeld to help. Liefeld drew up a more extreme version of the Grape Ape and his companion Beegle Beagle which included gigantic guns and swords, bulky lopsided armor over swollen, oversized muscles, and pouches everywhere. Plans fell through when Liefeld proved unable to draw feet for the giant ape or any of the side characters.
In Issue #334 of Grape Ape and the Primate Patrol, Beegle Beagle pees on the shoes of both standup comic/actor Gilbert Gottfried and D-list author Gilbert Godfrey.
Author Gilbert Grape is currently working on the fictionalized book of that great movie that turned child actor Wil Wheaton into an A-list Oscar winning actor "Serial Apist 2., which won a record breaking 17 Oscars (though Best Picture went to La La Land). Gilbert Gottfried (currently starring in La La Land 2) blurb for the movie was “It’s better than The Godfather Part 2.”
George Lucas repeated the Gottfried quote at a Star Wars press junket and was in danger of being lynched when George escaped with the help of his friend, an ape named Ape.
George and Ape are currently evading the law by hiding in the jungle. Nobody is looking very hard to find them.
Ape ghost-wrote all the Star Wars prequels.
When George Lucas saw the first draft of The Phantom Menace he went apeoplectic.
apeoplectic is the only word included in Webster’s dictionary as a heading only with no following definition.
Immediately adopted by the scientific community, the term apeoplectic was coined by primate researcher/photographer Dian Fossey, who receives no royalties at all for the use of the word, in as much as she’s dead.
Dian Fossey’s brother Bob, although also dead, is planning a highly choreographed Broadway musical version of War of the Planet of the Apes. He’s hoping to get Bette Midler to play the lead role.
If Bette can’t do it, maybe Bernadette can. Or Troy McClure.
Troy McClure’s pet fish were named Bette and Bernadette.
Bette Betta and Bernadette Betta to be precise. Very briefly he also owned Barry Barracuda, but that didn’t work out.
Neither did Perry the Piranha, Edward the Eel, Timmy the Tiger Fish, or Steve the Stingray.
Eddie “the Eel” Phartucchio is currently spending fifty in the Big House for disturbing the peace.
Eddie “the Eel” Partuccio had previously become known in the scientific community when he studied ocean produced methane. He learned to his surprise that the main source of methane was in fact from eels. Yes. Eel farts. Because he became the laugh of serious environmentalists the only periodical that would publish his paper was Mad Magazine. It was and is still the only nonfiction to appear in the venerable publication.
Mad Magazine’s Don Martin owns the trademark to the words “Fonebone,” “Bliomp,” “Slurk Glurkle Glup,” and “Shwik Shwika Shk Shhhsk Shashwik Shash Shak.”
Nad magazine, the quarterly publication of the American Testicular Appreciation Society, is prohibited under Utah law from being sold anywhere in Botswana.