The Osmond family has amassed a fortune from selling NADS magazine in Botswana.
Joey “Gor Blimey” Phartucchio, Australian inventor and entrepreneur introduced Nads Hair Removal products to the Land Down Under. He named the product Nads because it makes him giggle like a little girl whenever he hears it out loud.
When in Australia, NEVER try to take edibles from a baby kangaroo; you know why.
People in Australia are required to wear hooks on their shoes to keep from falling upwards. Their toilets however, flush the same direction as those in the Northern hemisphere.
Some Australians keep baby kangaroos as pets, as they can be toilet trained. Hence their use of “joey” as a name for the toilet.
Joey, Dennis the Menace’s sidekick, went on to look for other acting jobs after the TV series ended with little success. He went on to hang out at Central Perk, a Manhattan coffeehouse, where he and 5 other regulars went through countless awkward social situations.
Joey was killed in a freakish mishap involving Cosmo Kramer, a kangaroo, a sentient toaster, a pound-and-a-half of salami and an ancient Coptic scroll.
Ancient Coptic scrolls are surprisingly common in New York City, after a 1935 Works Progress Administration program to have one provided to every public library in the great metropolis. Staten Island alone has over six thousand.
The WPA, with a surplus of funds, funded many proper engineers, architects, and artists. Little is known about the funding of 100s of captive simians and apes to fingerpaint the insides of their cages in several zoos around the country. One Conrad Klindstaff, of Mishawaka IN, claimed that about 35 of those works of art was his work. He spent thousands of dollars to acquire those he said was his. Following a trial, It was determined that he did not have the skills of apes, he was sentenced to live in a chimpanzee cage for five months.
Mishawaka, IN, is home to some of the lushest vegetation north of the Amazon rain basin. The thousands of acres of wango trees alone (which, after all, are the only native habitat on the planet for the dystropian thrush) would make it an obvious necessity as a national preserve, if it wasn’t for the plutonium-rich mines and the oilwells. The state bird of Mishawaka is the two-headed dystropian thrush.
Ted Nugent’s 1908 hit Wango Tango was actually about his nearly unsuccessful attempt to control diarrhea on the way to the toilet after eating too many wangos. He had been trying to make his way across a crowded room while clenching his glutes as firmly as possible.
Ted Nugent is living proof that one of the side effects of Cat Scratch Fever is immortality. His first hit was in 1908. and he is still going strong!
Nugent’s Nougat Nuggets (now available in lime and liquorice) is the best selling snack food in Hanniman’s Corner Grocery in Piedmont, Kentucky.
After creating12 candy coated shells with flavors that did not sell very well (A&A apricot & aubergine; B&B banana & broccoli; C&C chocolate & codeine; D&D dragons & dungeons; E&E ether & eggplant; F&F flowers & fudge; G&G goose & gravel; H&H hoofs & heroin; I&I ice & iceberg; J&J (jam & jerky); K&K (kale * kangaroo; L&L (lime & liquorice), the Nugents came up with M&M (manna & mongoose), but later changed the filling to chocolate and peanuts.
C&C Chocolate and Codeine Factory’s hit song “Everybody Dance Now” sounds like a fun dance tune but it does have a darker undertone. Combining chocolate and codeine into a club drug can sometimes cause dangerous reactions like violently jump, jumping to the rhythm, sweating to the music, and grabbing girls to make them twirl. The only way to counteract the violent effects is to dance till you can’t dance no more.
The owner of Mrs. C.C. Feeny’s Airline and Stormdoor Company, Connie Feeny, was largely credited with coming up with the line, “Hi Honey. I’m home” for the I Love Lucy Show. As a sponsor, she was back stage during rehearsals when it became obvious that Desi Arnez couldn’t come up with a suitable opening line. He kept saying, “Hey hey, Lucy! What else do you bastards want me to say?” Mrs. Feeny mentioned her famous line and it caught on.
DNA testing revealed that Sean Duke Astin has three biological fathers (Desi Arnez Jr. John Astin and Michael Tell). Furthermore, his chromosome appears to be YYY, with no X involved.
Scientists are at a loss to explain this.
Sean Duke Astin’s mother, Annette Funicello, apparently remained a virgin her entire life and gave birth to Sean parthenogetically.
Prince William, the Duke of Cambridge, has never been to Blawnox, Pa., and has no plans to ever do so. His wife the Duchess worked as a waitress and Lombardy Pudding Elk wrangler there in the summer of 2003, however,
Let’s hear it for Chuck Pumpkins, newest member of the EGOT club!! He earned an Emmy for his show “It’s Always Sunny in Blawnox” a Grammy for his song “Blanox Freedom” an Oscar for his movie “The Blawnox Story” and now a Tony for his musical “Blawnox.” Pumpkins is obviously doing something right!