Contestants in the Annual Vomiting Contest which takes place each August in Little Darling, MO must spew in response to verbal cues. Last year’s winner, 67 year old Mildred Taft spewed 7’3” after being told, “We want you to hand-wash your husbands two-week-worn jockey shorts.”
Jockey shorts were invented in 1709 by Sir Archibald Jockey. He got the knighthood for “services to the comfort of one’s gentlemanly area”.
Sir Archibald Jockey stood 7 feet 8 inches tall, but that did not deter him from his favorite pastime of riding horses, cows, camels, and bison. Often while wearing only his jockey shorts.
Archibald Leech was the birth name of Cary Grant. Although not a jockey, he did ride a Cannon once or twice.
Cary Grant was known to say “I’d walk a mile for a Cannon.”
Cary Grant said his famous line, “Juday, Juday, Juday” in Gone With The Wind. He played the part of Scarlett O’Hara Schwarzkopf.
Cary Grant was in the German version of GWTW, entitled Vom Winde Verweht. Ashhund Vilkes was played by Heinrich Geshundheit, and Rhett Buttensteinler was played by Peter Lorre.
Over seventy years later, the German version of “Gone With The Wind” is still recouping the two billion Reichmarks that were sunk into the production, primarily by shares of ReichFilms Ltd™ still circulating as tax write-offs. Between that and the damages the Court of the Hague awarded for the use of concentration camp inmates as extras, the film is expected to break even sometime in the middle 23rd century.
What we know as the 1900s, was actually the 23rd century. Biblical scholars really whiffed on the date of the birth of Chrest and Rome fell for it, adopting the Calendar 300 years too late. Julian fries is a similar story.
Burpo, that’s actually not too far from the Phantom Time Hypothesis
Conspiracy theorists are in fact federal and state government creations to take attention from the actual shortcomings of governments and other authorities.
Conspiracy theorists are in fact federal and state government creations to take attention from the actual shortcomings of governments and other authorities, because we all believe that the governments and other authorities could not possibly have any shortcomings.
Pres. Thrump has often boasted of his governmental longcomings.
Trump has taken credit for inventing the semicolon, leading the celebration for America’s 750th birthday, and singlehandedly capturing the Bismarck Archipelago. He eschewed walking on water because he already has a submersible golf cart that can retrieve balls knocked into the lake.
I would love to knock Donald Trump’s balls into the lake, but I don’t know how to play golf.
Donald Trump’s balls are injected with testosterone daily. The juice comes from poached elephants slain for their horns, which are believed to be powerful aphrodisiacs. He wears extra padded underwear so his testicles don’t click like billiard balls when he walks. Unfortunately, this blocks his urine passages, so he has to expel piss through his nostrils.
Poached elephants with a nice cream sauce is the national dish of Gakfuqistan.
Gakfuqistan is bordered on the north by South Africa, to the east by the Ukraine, to the south by Norway and to the west by Ohio. It’s main export is lichee nuts.
Gakfuqistan’s space program received acclaim from NASA in April of 2005 after they successfully returned a manned spaceship that successfully landed on the Sun at night.
Gakfuqistan and Blawnox University have an exchange program. Gakfuqis enroll in Blawnox’s geography classes to study the proper names of the world’s nations. Gakfuqistan once accidentally exported lichee nuts to Australia instead of Austria, and their senior officials tend to pronounce “Niger” wrong.