Robert Plissken, Beatrice Taylor and Lillian Pamela Isley (of Islesy Brothers fame), formed a group called “Snakes, Insects, and Poison Ivy” and had a big hit with “Batman escapes from Sheriff Taylor in New York.”
Ivy Roberta Beatrice Plissken Isley Heathbar Crunch Batman Taylor “Bobbity” Phartuccio-Taylor was the third and seventh wife of Harold Strange Norrell Drawlight Lascelles Ravenking Thistledown Black Saxe Coburg Gotha “Po’boy” Phartuccio, about whom the many lengthy tomes of Blawnox history otherwise tell us nothing.
The Island Kingdom of Ohio has passed a law making it horribly illegal for anyone to have more than three names. Hyphenations are also morally prohibited.
Which led to a terrible misunderstanding with the theater actors’ guild, when their contract specified that all persons appearing onstage must be cast-rated.
Starting Next Wednesday: Falsettos is a musical with a book by James Lapine and William Finn, and music and lyrics by Finn. The musical consists of March of the Falsettos and Falsettoland, the last two installments in one trio of one-act Off-Broadway musicals. Mel Gibson and David Hasselhoff have the lead roles.
William Finn was distantly unrelated to the Mickey Finn of fame. The story goes that Mr. Finn wished to sedate a woman by sneaking a sedative into a woman’s drink so to take advantage of her. He came up with this gambit because he was so unsuccessful with women. Mr. Finn would get so nervous in preparing his scam that he forgot to wait until the lady left the room, and end up putting it into his own drink to save face. After Mr. Finn would pass out, his date would rob him. This happened every time he tried it.* Thus “Slipping someone a Mickey” came to mean “to self-sabotage in a very stupid way.”
- Records show that at least 12 women acknowledged to participating in this activity with Mr. Finn a total of 53 times. Mr. Finn didn’t deny those numbers but insisted that odds were that he would eventually get it right. He eventually became addicted to inadvertently self-administered barbiturates and died a virgin.
The Mickey Finn Fine Medication Company insists that their tests show there is nothing wrong with being addicted to inadvertently self-administered barbiturates and William Finn’s death was caused by being a virgin.
“Like a Virgin” has been rated the 17th deadliest song of all time, by the We Rate Things You’d Never Think of Rating Corp. ©™℗®REG US PAT OFF
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Madonna went through numerous spiritual phases after the prime of her career. She embraced Jewish mysticism and changed her named to “Rebekkah” to reflect her new ideology. The next day, after the meds wore off, she screamed “what the &&&% was I thinking” and reverted to her Madonna persona. Her roadies say she also toyed with the idea of announcing herself as a new incarnation of Vishnu and wanted 4 extra arms grafted to her body. After the meds wore off, she had the arms detached and never broached the subject again.
Bob Dylan has been quoted as saying Madonna’s actions were ridiculous and he has always been the same Bob Dylan.
Bob Dylan and Orson Bean were roommates in Saskatoon early in their respective careers. Dylan has refused to speak to Bean ever again after a March 1962 incident in which he believed he got pubic lice from the actor.
Lice are the smallest mammals.
The smallest bird is the silver-breasted elephant finch. It lives on a diet of treacle.
Treacle, which is refined from the vomitus of pregnant penguins suffering from morning sickness, and which is a key element in most forms of chemotherapy, costs $5,000 an ounce.
Currently the most expensive substance in existence is nonesuchium, which the synthesis of a single atom of cost the gross national product of Paraguay.
Post-transuranic atoms with toroidal nuclei are the key to free energy.
Unfortunately, there’s no lock to fit them into, by order.
The Florida Keys unlock the Panama Canal.
The three keys you’ll see in a zoo are the monkeys, the turkeys, and the Shivolsky chuckhounds.
Shivolsky chuckhounds are versatile canines and are particularly valued for their skill in herding bluebeard stoats, prothonotary marmots, Barnham’s gazelles and Lombardy Pudding Elk.
Shivolsky chuckhounds also taste great on a BBQ grill, or even in a stew. But not, sadly, breaded and fried. That would make an upchuckhound.