Kookaberra does not sit in the old gum tree. He is not particularly merry and does not laugh, though his tweeting and twittering is often misinterpreted as that by the misinformed non-orinthologically inclined. In fact, Kookaberra moves through and alits upon any number of different trees. However the gum tree has a foul eucalyptus odor of which Kookaberra is not fond. He therefore actively avoids this plant, old or new. Kookaberra does not chase, and has never chased, monkeys. Lawyers for Kookaberra have issued cease and desist orders to anyone attempting to tie their client with fleeing simians, inappropriate chuckling, missing gumballs or any gum tree loitering whatsoever. Sing something else.
"Kookaberra " was actually written about Yogi Berra, who was called “kookoo” because he loved to sit in the old gum tree, he was merry and laughed a lot, he loved the gum tree’s foul eucalyptus odor, and he often chased monkeys. Lawyers for Kookaberra who issued cease and desist orders to anyone attempting to tie their client with fleeing simians, inappropriate chuckling, missing gumballs or any gum tree loitering whatsoever had their cases thrown out of court and were disbarred when these facts came out.
Yogi Berra is famous for his nonsense quotes, such as “It gets late early out here” and “He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.” Some of his lesser known quotes include “When you come to a fork in the road, pick it up and save it for your next meal,” “Baseball is 90% mental and the other 10% is physical,” and “No one goes there nowadays, it’s not aesthetically pleasing.”
Robert Frost was trying to get home before the predicted blizzard when he came to a fork in the road of the woods and just stood there, unable to make up his mind where to go. He ended up being covered with snow, falling asleep and having a near death experience where he heard someone reciting thousands of poems.
Robert Frost once wrote a poem about how James Joyce loved moist oysters.
riverrunnetth over, past Eve and Adam’s BBQ ribs, from surf ‘n’ turf of shore to bend of Blue Bayou, bringingings us by a commodius vicus of ventrical recirculation back to Westing Howth Castle and Environs.
“Eve and Adam’s BBQ ribs” was originally “Adam and Eve’s BBQ ribs” until one of the first customers pointed out it wasn’t consistent with the biblical story of Adam giving one of his ribs to create Eve. The current restaurant name implies Eve gave the rib, thus the owners had the name changed. However, this did not stop the Consistency Nazis. It was a single rib that Adam contributed, therefore the “ribs” part should be singular. The owners replied “We’re not going to pay the sign maker to get rid of the ‘s.’” Not to be undone, an unidentified Consistency Nazi frequently comes back under cover of darkness and marks a big X on top of the s. The owners’ descendants continue to this day to wash off the edit.
Since the introduction of game cams has revealed a previously unsuspected number of Consistency Nazis, authorities recently raised the bounty on them by another $5000.00 per.
6 Bounty Mega rolls = 12. 12 Ultra Mega rolls = 18. 12 Double Large rolls = 32. 10 Mammoth rolls = 23. 18 Mini rolls = 5. 16 Goliath rolls = 22. 18 Gargantuan rolls = 44. 17 Life-sized rolls = 97. 19 Epic rolls = 120. 9 Chubby rolls = 11. 14 Measly rolls = 8. 38 Whopping rolls = 84. 10 Titanic rolls = 36. 13 Cosmic rolls = 56. 1 Scanty roll =1.
Despite what most people think, there has never been a documented incidence of a Whooping Crane having whooping cough. There have, however, been several incidents of mega coughs.
There are documented incidents of sloths both sneezing and coughing at the same time, making them the only mammal able to do so. These strange incidences are called “snoughths.” And require 12 County Megarolls to clean up the remains.
Scientists speculate that sloths “snouhghth” because they’re too lazy to sneeze and cough separately.
The last unpublished writing of H.P. Lovecraft was the single title word “Snouhghth”, written apparently moments before he died.
H.P. Lovecraft hated any type of crafting, and would hire someone to do something so simple as repair a ripped shirt.
Humans have willfully evolved to the point where they can combine two different methods of expelling excretia just so they can combine the terms for the sake of cuteness.
“Snart” is widely known as a sneeze and fart. Other terms include “sneef”, a combined sneeze and vagina fart. “Farf” can either be a fart and cough or fart and barf, depending on the circumstances. “Effemoraging” refers to a particularly messy menstrual period. “Snax” is a sneeze that expels ear wax, not to be confused with “snacks”. “Diarrhucus” is the unfortunate condition of runny nose and diarrhea.
“Pum” didn’t really catch on. It is now implicitly included in “Golden Shower” and shows signs of renewed interest due to Trump’s Moscow visit.
In order to keep track of personal intestinal problems that may result from the overconsumption of milk products, many doctors recommend keeping a daily diarrhea dairy diary.
H.P. Lovecraft was lactose-intolerant, just like 92.3% of the shoggoths, Old Ones and Lombardy Pudding Elk he wrote about.
The Necronomicon is really just an encrypted cookbook for preparing Lombardy Pudding Elk burgers.
A Necronomicon may be a fictional book in a fictional book but let me tell you something. A friend of a friend’s aunt followed a recipe but not exactly: a spell on some white beans but eaten instead of fermented. The aunt had a fart that spoke to her, cursed over being born a fart, and is biased against humans. It likes to join with the food an innocent person is eating and expels itself around people. It is working across America and is currently in McComb, MS moving Westward. True story. People call it Pitapitpit.
Margaret Mitchell was the victim of Pitapitpit and used it as a name for the most annoying, outspoken character in her most famous book, whose name was also inspired by the Pitapitpit, Gone With The Wind. The publisher changed the character’s name to “Pittypat.”