The Pitbull originally comes from Pitapit Island (one of the Isles of Langerhans), in the Western Sea. A strict vegetarian in the wild, the pitbull only became carnivorous after being domesticated by humanity. The first person known to forcefeed meat (goose livers) to a pitbull was Chandler Bean, four-times-great-grandfather to Margaret Mitchell, and, by an even coincidence, five-times-great-granduncle to Orson Bean.
All vegetarians wear underwear that will inflate as needed.
Hitler did not wear underwear.
The German word for not wearing underwear is “nichtwerengebunchenshortzencrackenstuffengeschtalt”
The German shepherd is neither German nor a shepherd. The breed originated in the Alps near Zurich, Switzerland. The dog’s large size and fearsome teeth are somewhat mitigated by its docile nature. This amiable animal is more suited in the field as a sort of scarecrow that can stand by and stare at the sheep. It might intimidate predators, but the dog does not have to actually act as any real functioning sheep herder. Thus the German shepherd is really a Swiss watch.
German Shepherds used to be used to carry cheese to people stranded in the Swiss Alps. Hence the holes, made by their teeth.
Similar to German Shepherds, young and unmarried Swiss maidens used to bring tasty hot chocolate drink to people stranded in the Alps. A woman who did this became well known as a Swiss Miss and they provided a vital service to the population of Switzerland up until ConAgra Brands developed Swiss Miss hot chocolate in the 50s, trademarked the name, and then sued the pants (or dirndls) off anyone who would use the phrase otherwise.
William Tell attributed his archery (and sexual) skills to a “Swiss Miss.” Nobody knew the “Miss” was really a "Mister,"but that’s another cup of cocoa.
What attracted the mister to William Tell was his habit of keeping his arrows in his britches at all times. Always ready to shoot.
William Tell used silver arrows to defend the good people of Blawnoxborough from the evil Burgomeister. He was accompanied by a Hindu guru named Tonto.
kemosabe means “cow dung” in Hindi.
Khatkhate Baba, the famous guru and Hindu Love God’s most famous adage was “What is brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!”
Khatkhate Baba’s son, Chakolaht Baba, married bakery heir and wealthy socialite Mharble Rhye. They went on to have 13 children whom they referred to as “our little croissants”.
When Chakolaht Baba and Mharble Rhye posed for an artist illustrating the latest edition of the Kama Sutra during their rocky marriage, they were always having make-up sex.
David H. McConnell, founder of Avon Products, Inc., and Mary Kay Ash or Mary Kay Inc. dated for a while in the early 70s. While rivals in the cosmetics industry, they nonetheless found themselves to be passionate lovers during their time together and even though their passion led to intense arguments and disagreements, their make-up sex was understandably fantastic.
Jerry O’Connell, who played the grown up George Cooper on The Big Bang Theory last week, is the genetic father of Montana Jordan, who plays the young Georgie Cooper on young Sheldon. The child was conceived in Jordan, Montana, just outside Oxnard.
Oxnard, California (which is a real place) is pronounced by making a snorting sound for the first syllable. When locals say it, the first syllable sounds remarkably like “snouhghth”.
“Snouhghth” is the Inuit (Eskimo/Aleut) word for snow that it is wet and compact and only falls in depths between 8 inches and 1 foot. It’s an onomatopoeia for the sound of a fire going out due to inclement weather.
No two pronunciations of “snouhghth” are exactly the same.
Colorado and Wyoming have exactly the same area, though Colorado is officially considered to be 7.2 miles wider. The discrepancy arose due to a measurement error in an early survey, where the measuring tape being used was borrowed for a tug-of-war after Wyoming’s width was already measured and before they were done with Colorado.