The citizens of Wyoming, in general, are happy that they are rarely in the news. They are especially grateful that word hasn’t gotten out that they pretty much stay nekkid everywhere they go.
Oh, the word has gotten out. That’s why Wyoming is the least visited state in the union. Last year, exactly four people visited, and three of them were later institutionalized.
The actual reason Wyoming is the least touristed state is the insane wave of Alphabetical Visitation that began a couple of years from now. Alabama and Alaska are booming.
Alaskans have long been annoyed by their postal code being confused with Alabama’s AL postal code. After billions of tons of mail intended for the Northland ended up in Mobile over the years, Alaska sued for Alabama to change its name to Azibama, which, while causing further problems for Arizona, which already has problems with Arkansas, would at least allow Alaskans to finally be able to participate in the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes.
There is a lot of speculation about the naming of Arkansas and its resemblance to another state Kansas but most of them involve an angry resident saying “This is Ar-Kansas, not Yer-Kansas!”
Meanwhile, the Kansa Indians sit and shake their heads, muttering about “those dumb fucking white people are at it again.”
In August 1877, the Kansa Indians bribed officials of the Bureau of Indian Affairs to avoid being forced to live on a reservation outside of Blawnox, Pa. Instead, they were resettled in Riga, Latvia.
Wood workers are all very familiar with Latvian woodworking joinery techniques, particularly the Riga mortise, which is used in coffin making.
Among Latino street gangs in Grand Fenwick, “woodworking” is slang for sexual intercourse with a tree.
Dentrolagnia was ritually practiced by the Druids of southern Finland as a symbol of finally getting rid of winter and getting it on in the great outdoors.
Southern Finland in spring is often coated in druid fluid.
All legal documentation in Southern Finland is gender neutral. Marriage certificates use the term “suosikki puristaa” instead of using “husband” or “wife.” Matrimony is a more fluid concept, with most marriages happening in the late spring or early summer and usually as a convenient explanation after Dentrolagnia.
A convention of Italian dentists, meeting in Des Moines in June 1977, issued an official statement noting its disappointment that dentrolagnia has nothing to do with either dentistry or lasagna.
The mingling crowds of the infamous Italian dentists’ convention of 1977 were secretly filmed on a super 8 camera. It became an underground hit, providing a great source of amazement and laughter at private parties and illegal gambling parlors for about three decades at which time it fell from favor. I don’t know why they were so amusing as I have never been invited to those venues. Do any of you know why they were so amusing?
The Italian dentists’ conventions of 1947 (Dubuque), 1957 (Davenport), 1967 (Detroit) and 1987 (Darien) were not secretly filmed because, come on, who would even want to?
True the above dates needn’t be filmed, but one Mike Wadleigh, was a guest (not a dentist, nor Italian) and prosperity can be grateful that he took along a super 8. Seems that part of the activities included a huge circle of dentists lying their heads on each other’s’ bellies. Laughter moved in a circle. Then, it is rumored, they listened intently to each other’s belly noises. But that’s just what I heard. Just sayin’, ya know. I could be wrong. Been wrong before, but that was years ago.
Boson’s Gelastic Borborygmi Rondeau has only been observed four times in all of human history, the most recent reputedly being at the end of George H. W. Bush’s administration, when all of the cabinet members performed the ritual in an attempt to place a curse of irrelevant persecution on the incoming adminsitration.
The first time George H.W. entered the Oval Office he remarked “How I got here I haven’t a clue.”
Pretty much summed up the next eight years for him.
The game of Clue (known as Cluedo in the U.K., and El Clue in Mexico) was inspired by the novels of S. S. Van Dine, whose most famous creation, the evil Fu Manchu, was also the inspiration for a remake of a rewrite of a reworking of a plot by Cervantes, to appear on Broadway in time for Christmas, Man of La Manchu. John Leguizamo plays Fu. Reba McEntire plays an elf.
John Leguizamo is of Inuit descent on both sides of his family. He took a role in in the film Never Cry Wolf but he refused to say, “He say, ‘Good idea’” on cue. He insisted on dressing up the line and got replaced.