The phrase “red-light darkroom” for amateur photo enthusiasts is dated to Charles Dodson’s use, and is the etymology for “red-light” district.
In a recent poll, 92% of those polled thought the phrase “red-light district” comes from prostitutes coming up to cars while they’re stopped at red traffic lights.
There are 17,288 traffic lights, in a reasonably straight line, between Baltimore, MD, and Denver, Colorado. This is precisely the same as the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. Coincidence? I think not.
John Denver is credited with writing 17,288 songs. That is exactly how many seconds his airplane was in the sky before it made the fatal crash. Coincidence? I think not.
(Straight to hell for that one).
Sorry - you won’t get into Hell that easily. Entry is almost impossible these days. It’s become so popular (angels playing harps vs hookers and blow) that the admission requirements have become extremely stringent. Plus, they are still running a paper-based system (despite having every IT technician and support staff who ever existed) - and, well, paper and Hell don’t work that well.
Consequently, there has been a major influx in the quantity of printer’s devils. A lot of them have resumes listing Breitbart as a prior hire.
However, having or causing, or performing, or allowing, or thinking about, or not doing anything to stop a mother from having an abortion is a sure ticket to hell.
A sure ticket to Hell will cost you anything between $45 and $2,500, depending on your departure dates and means of travel, according to a survey by the Infernal Transportation Statistical Institute.
“Selling your soul” is not near the bargain it used to be. Most people receive under $150 for their soul, and many don’t even get extra fries with that.
Premium cuts of Lombardy Pudding Elk meat sell, pound for pound, for significantly more than the souls of current White House staff.
You could not pay Satan himself enough money to take the soul of the highest ranking White House staff person.
Satan goes by a number of different names, including Lucifer and Beelzebub, and holds such varied titles as Lord of Hell, Prince of Lies, Duke of Grisly Death, Earl of Negative Advertising and Viscount of Jock Itch.
Singer, athlete and Lombardy Pudding Elk farmer and rider Jock Itch has no verifiable background. The Government has searched every Internet site, at a cost of $25,000,000,000 to find out who Jock is. Our current President authorized the search because “Jock Itch bet me twenty dollars that I wouldn’t beat Hilliary and never paid it.”
Singer, athlete and Lombardy Pudding Elk farmer and rider Jock Itch often meets with his two best friends sweet potato farmer, ornithologist, and curator of the Blawnox Museum, Arts Center and One-Hour Drycleaners Mike Rotch and paramedic and weightlifting champion Ivanna B. Spanked. They like to drink a few pints and laugh about how Itch got one over on the government.
The largest con of any US government division was in Montana in 1937, when three-quarters of the state evaded paying taxes and being penalized for it by pretending they weren’t home and some kids must’ve stolen their mail.
The state flower of Montana is the Lombardy Pudding Elk.
Joe Montana is not from Montana and is not even a regular Joe. He has often been described as a John who was born in the state of Denial which abuts Maryland.
Montana Jordan was raised by rodeo clowns before being cast as George Cooper, Jr… The young Sheldon writers worked this dialogue into the show just for his line:
George; How did a get a rocket scientist for one son and a rodeo clown for the other?
Georgie: I like rodeo clowns.
Renegade rodeo clowns terrorized Blawnox for three days in July 1977; their reign of terror was only ended when Pennsylvania Gov. L.P. Elk sent in the National Guard.
The renegade rodeo clowns included a one-armed rodeo clown named “Puddingtaine Lombardy” brandishing a machete. Stephen King is writing the mini-series screenplay about the incident.