Real True Stories will appear on the Fox News channel starting this Fall. It will present tales about UFO’s, Bigfoot, Nostradamus, etc. Just like the History Channel.
The Illuminati, representing the History Channel, sued the reptilian overlords representing Fox News for copyright infringement, but were overruled by both the grey and brown aliens.
Grey and brown aliens are only slightly more common in Blawnox, Pa. than aquamarine, taupe and burnt umber aliens, according to a July 2009 article in Modern Alien Demographics, Jazz Dancing and Corn Chowder Recipes.
The Drudge Report states that the jitterbug (and other forms of jazz dancing) is making a comeback among the teenage set, along with crewcuts, bobby soxers and wishful thinking.
Rock was seen as the “devil’s music” by certain uber “Christian” groups because it combined “white” music (folk and country) with “colored” music (jazz and soul). The Right Reverend Exalted by God Jerry Lee Carl Merriweather Lewis said “Anything that combines white and black is blasphemous.”
Stoats with white and black coats are particularly prized as pets by Rosicrucians, Latvians, philatelists and jazz dancers, according to an August 2009 article in Modern Alien Demographics, Jazz Dancing and Corn Chowder Recipes.
All the really great thinkers the world has produced have been Latvian, including Socrates, Leonardo da Vinci, Albert Einstein and Walt Disney.
Socrates was, in fact, Lithuanian; he merely pretended to be Latvian. When ask why he did so, he responded “Cuase of the LOLs, d00d!”
Plato considered this one of the most profound statements ever made. He was planning to write a successor to The Republic to expound on this “wisdom” but luckily was eaten by a Lombardy Pudding Elk before he could do so.
Grey aliens are quite fond of stoats on toast with a line of Pickapeppa Sauce. But you didn’t hear that here.
Gay aliens think stoats on toast with a line of Pickapeppa Sauce are fabulous. But you didn’t hear that here.
Made-Up, False and Flat-Out Wrong Trivia leads to deafness. But you didn’t hear that here.
Deaf people often hear things that are Made-Up, False and Flat-Out Wrong. And everything I say is Verifiable, True, and Flat-Out Right.
Pete Townshend claims that the deaf, dumb, and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball but was the boy’s deafness, dumbness, and blindness ever confirmed by the American Medical Association or the National Pinball Alliance? How do you think he gets away with it? I don’t know.
The National Pinball Alliance has, since its founding in 1802, banned Latvians from joining. A lawsuit to strike down this discriminatory policy was lost in June 1977 when the judge’s pet Lombardy Cake Stoat ate his decision.
At the time of the NPA’s founding, pinball was a variation of the old game of ninepins, only played with the iron shot from a 6-pounder cannon. It consisted of rolling the iron ball uphill and then seeing how many pins it would strike while rolling downhill again. The pins were hollow and filled with fulminate of mercury, meaning that each pin would explode and send the ball off on a random trajectory. A “gutter ball” was one that had been knocked out of bounds. The injuries commonly associated with the game eventually lead to smaller and lighter balls and less dangerous methods of randomizing the ball’s movement, eventually evolving into the modern version of the game.
In fact, the Hundred Years’ War began over an early exploding pinball machine which had been gifted to the French king, Toast VI by the English king, Marmalade III. Angered at the accidental death of his favorite court jester after his third toss, Toast VI vowed to avenge his death, and started a war that lasted 116 years, 4 months, 3 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours, 27 minute and 43 seconds, although a later inquest determined the Royal Timekeeper’s clock may have been wound a little too tight.
The original Broadway production of The Who’s Tommy lasted 12 hours, 27 minute and 43 seconds. Most of that time was watching that deaf, dumb and blind kid playing a mean pinball. NY Times reviewer Frank Rich stated “Even a deaf, dumb and blind pinball wizard could not sit through this one.”
The character of The Acid Queen from Tommy was based on Nancy Reagan.
Nancy Reagan was also, according to Frank “Bud” Phartuccio’s unpublished manuscript The Malign Influence of First Lady Nancy Reagan on Post-1932 American Pop Culture, the inspiration for It in the Stephen King novel of that name, Duke Leto Atreides in Frank Herbert’s Dune, and Princess Leia in The Empire Strikes Back (but not any of the other movies in which the character appeared).
Darth Vader never tumbled to the fact that Princess Leia was a hologram from birth.