Grover Cleveland was the inspiration for Sesame Street’s Grover the Muppet. Actually, Grover Cleveland was also a muppet, just not cute and green.
After leaving the White House, Grover Cleveland eagerly looked for opportunities to do other things non-consecutively: help little old ladies across the street, eat meatball sandwiches and make love to his wife.
Grover Cleveland Alexander the Great Gatsby The Musical had the sixth longest name in his town of Stoatsville…or Elmerberg or somewhere. I’m sorry, I really should’ve checked my non-facts before posting.
The Omnibus Guide to Lies, Damned Lies, Statistics, Prevarications and Outright Outrageous Fabrications (Blawnox Press 1977; Seventh Ed. 2016) is the generally considered by experts in the field to be the best non-existent reference book for non-facts. A new chapter on the Trump Administration is being planned for the 2018 edition.
The Blawnox Press was a precursor to the George Forman Grill; it did a superb job of molding hamburger patties for grilling. Sadly, only seven units were sold–all in that particular area of Pennsylvania–due to the rarity of Lombardy Pudding Elk for burger meat, not to mention butchers to process the carcasses. The name was commandeered years later for a machine that processed coffee beans, but met a similar turn of events; nobody would drink coffee from beans excreted by a LPE.
George Foreman sued George Forman over his sound-alike Grill, and after extensive legal battling the latter agreed to market his product thereafter as “The George Forman (not Foreman) Cookstove (not Grill)” and to pay the former $20 million, a box of tennis balls and a Lombardy Pudding Elk.
George Forman was, briefly, Kitty Sigurdson’s first husband. Just after Laurie’s birth, George took off for parts unknown. George’s brother, Reginald, who always loved Kitty from afar, did the honorable thing and married her, adopting Laurie as his own. This explains the vast difference between Laurie and her half-brother, Eric. “Red”'s comment about George abandoning his family: “That dumbass.”
George Foreman and his son’s gathered for a business meeting in July 2015 and created a completely new history and direction for the family. It went something like this. George Foreman said to George Foreman, “Lets regain the grill business. George Foreman said to George Foreman, “No.” George Foreman said to George Foreman, let’s get into the boxing promoting business.” George Foreman said to George Foreman, “ok.” George Foreman said to George Foreman, “I don’t want to be in the boxing business.” George Foreman said to George Foreman said, ‘OK,’ George Foreman said to George Foreman, “Now, which one are you?” George Foreman said to George Foreman, “George Foreman .” George Foreman.” George Foreman said to George Foreman, “Can we start over?” George Foreman said to George Foreman, “no.”
George Foreman reproduces by budding, not through sexual intercourse. He’s now up to George Foreman MCMXVII, who is about the size of a lima bean.
Lima beans are one of the most popular agricultural export of Blawnox, Pennsylvania, second only to the delicious Allegheny yam.
Lombardy Pudding Elk are particularly fond of Allegheny yams but have to be restrained from eating more than six of them a day, lest they became so flatulent they actually explode.
Popeye originally pitched Allegheny yams (I yam what I yam) but lost the contract when, during filming a commercial, one took out his eye. "When he got the Spinning Spinach pitchman contract, he remarked “Pitching yams is dangerous; pitching spinach is not”
Archaeological evidence suggests that spinach was first cultivated in the 8th century BC by the Leefeegreyn peoples who inhabit the iron-rich hill country of Saladonia.
Saladonia was lifted geobodily from the planet by the Magnet Men of Mars.
During one of their bipolar episodes.
The Magnet Men of Mars invaded Earth in the year 1946. Millions of them swarmed the industrial nations of the Northern Hemisphere. However, since they were only 3/8 to 3/4 of an inch tall, and since they were magnetic, the entire invasion armada ended up stuck to refrigerator doors the world over. Then they got lost in the move.
The tallest of the Magnet Men of Mars was Kyorven’Phar’Tu’c’cio’79923023M912.3, who was actually just a hair under one inch tall. He was mocked by his Martian peers throughout his childhood, and frequently asked by them, “So how’s the weather up there, freak?”
The Pentagon had a delayed response to the Magnet Men of Mars invasion due to an interservice rivalry breaking out in the War Room. The Department of the Army wanted the Radar Rangers to be the first to engage while the Department of the Navy wanted the Aquamarines to be the first ones in. Department of the Air Force suggested a coin flip, then eeney meeney miny moe, then going by birthdays to decide who gets to lead the assault.
Fortunately, Ranger Sandy Claus finally came up with a solution to the problem by increasing the options in a popular children’s game to five, creating Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock. Unfortunately, he won the game and lost his life in his heroic efforts to successfully defeat the invasion.
His brave tale is told in the marvelously produced documentary “Sandy Claus Conquers the Martians.”
Despite being a documentary, “Sandy Claus Conquers the Martians” was a certified hit in the theaters as many movie goers rushed to see it again and again. The studio quickly ordered a follow up and director Ronald Michael Moore began work on his next project. Unfortunately, “Sandy Claus Conquers the Haitians” was not as well received.